Legal protection for unmarried SAHMs

[lilyaldrin]

Basically, what do I need to do to confer the same financial/legal protection as marriage would?

We have joint children and although we don't currently own property together, we hope to in the next few years.

First thing I'm tackling is wills leaving everything to each other. What next?

OK thanks

So does that mean people can be married, but not actually be in a relationship - live apart, have polyamorous rls, but children together and marriage for legal purposes (inheritance, property etc) remains intact?

Also a pertinent point where one party in a relationship has been married before. A friend was horrified to discover that although she and her DCs had been living with her DP for several years, shared a house (but wasn't named on the mortgage or deeds) that as her DP had no will, in the event of his death, his wife from who he was separated but hadn't got round to divorcing would technically inherit everything, could turf her out of the home she lived in, refuse her access to her DP on his deathbed, make DNR / turn off life support decisions.

Thanks Friday16 you have been hugely informative.

that as her DP had no will, in the event of his death, his wife from who he was separated but hadn't got round to divorcing would technically inherit everything,

Not "would technically", "would". The order goes spouse/civil partner, children, grandchildren (etc), parents, siblings, half-siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles, half-aunts/uncles, the Crown. There's provision for creditors to apply to administer the estate if no-one else wants to, and in any event creditors are entitled to be paid before the estate is distributed, but an unmarried partner doesn't get a look-in either as beneficiary or as administrator. The partner couldn't under any realistic circumstances obtain letters of administration, so would have no room to manoeuvre. And the person who does inherit can be fairly aggressive about moving someone out of the house; there are protections, but they're not very good ones.

Yes, the ex-wife could refuse to accept the legacy and use a deed of variation to give the money to the new partner (if they were nice). But if they were claiming benefits (or residential care), or were likely to need to do so in the immediate future, it would count as deprivation of assets and their benefits would be assessed as though they had the asset.

You can transfer assets between married people. For example, my husband got shares from his company, and because we are married he could transfer half to me, meaning that when we sold them, we could benefit from two lots of capital gains tax allowance, ie. no tax to pay on the profit. This allowance is currently £10600 each a year, so not small change if you do have this kind of asset.

If you want those protections, put on your jeans, nip to the register office, sign the paperwork and leave. It'll cost fifty quid, and you don't need to tell anyone.
I don't mean to be picky but it doesn't cost £50 anymore . Not in our local register office anyway. It's £35 each to file the paperwork then the cheapest room is £49. So £119.

OrlandoWoolf comment stood out to me:

You just need one with 2 couples - 1 married, 1 unmarried and the same event happen to both of them. Then see how the law treats the unmarried couple.

Is anyone willing to spin off a quick basic list of exactly that, for example if one dies, how that affects whether married or unmarried?

married: receive state bereavement benefits; no IHT payable; no doubt about who arranges burial etc (especially if death overseas); if no will, then survivor receives set proportion of estate.

unmarried: no entitlement to any bereavement benefits; IHT payable; if no will, no entailment to anything under intestacy; may not be able to make any funeral arrangements at all; not all pensions pay out to non-martial surviving partners.

friday16 I'm not sure if anyone's corrected you on this but further up on the thread you said no IHT on joint tenancy. That's not true! Joint tenancy between unmarried partners triggers inheritance tax the same way as tenancy in common. Proof here www.hmrc.gov.uk/inheritancetax/paying-iht/who-pays.htm (example 2 under When a beneficiary has to pay inheritance tax)

What is an LPoA? And can anyone point me to a website where all this handy info is in one place?

Cherry, it's a Lasting Power of Attorney - see www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

From Stella's list, a lot of it can be sorted. PoA gives you a lot of rights especially as Next of Kin and what happens if your partner is seriously ill or incapacitated. Having no will when you're unmarried would probably be a highly stupid thing and that one I'd say you bring on yourself. Inheritance tax has a threshold of around £350,000, so that probably discounts a lot of couples. Most pensions will now pay out to a named beneficiary.

Widow's benefit, yes, that's a big one at the moment.

However I believe there is growing pressure to sort this out and so the situation is unlikely to stay this way for the next 50 years.

Right, that's all I needed to know. Thank you very much!

cherry switches screens to local registry office

riksti

Thanks, I didn't know that. Thank you for the correct. It's a case of the Inland Revenue getting you coming or going! So unmarried couples who own houses worth more than £650k have no option but to either plan to pay IHT on the first death or get married.

I'm with cherry now. There are some fantastic licensed venues...

Hell woman, I haven't got time for that!!! Would love to go searching for somewhere nice but a quick trip downtown will have to suffice - maybe later on....

Happy hunting!

You're right of course Cherry, neither have I got time for it. In fact it's the organising thing that has put me off in the past - a whole big party with relatives from all over the world that will get huffty if you don't invite them at £100 a head. Being the only girl means the pressure has always been on to create that perfect day. And when the relationship is far from perfect what's the point of the perfect wedding? I just keep imagining everyone's face when they find out we got married but didn't tell them or have a big do.

Might be the local RO on a rainy afternoon after all.

I got married at the register office, and it was done and dusted within 20 minutes.

I just keep imagining everyone's face when they find out we got married but didn't tell them or have a big do.

But you're a grown up, right?

It's your business what you do, no one else's.

No one batted an eyelid, we just said it matter-of-fact that we were getting married in a register office. We were paying for it at the end of the day, no one else!!

Big do's are over rated anyway, especially in this financial climate. Seems such a waste of money even if you are able to afford an extravagant wedding.

If you'd like a bit of a do at some point you can always have one, cant you....renew vows and all that...

I'm pretty certain it's not going to go down well over here either, but much rather that than OH have something happen on him on the way to work and me and the kids end up in a mess and if the family can appreciate that, well, tough!

You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, just do it quietly in your lunch hour, its cheaper and quicker than a solicitors appointment.

Then in a few years if / when you have the time / inclination, have a big celebration and renew your vows.

And the children, they need to know and one of them in particular loves the docusoaps, 'gypsy wedding' 'bridezilla' etc, there will be endless pressure.

Perhaps we'll get an extra large takeaway, or even a meal in a proper restaurant.