Can my partner's ex stop him seeing the children more often?

[bambicat]

My partner has two boys aged 12 and 15 who he sees 4 nights every 2 weeks. The boys want to spend a bit more time with their Dad, but their mother will not allow this. There is no court order re visiting arrangements, just an informal agreement between mum and dad. Going to court and involving solicitors isn't an option financially. Can dad just let his ex know that they need an extra night with him? Can she stop him? What can Dad do? Any advice would be very welcome! thank you!

Hi,

Probably the best start is for your partner to speak to his ex and agree something together. The children have the right to see their Dad. If that doesn't work, there is the option of mediation. Then ( and only after lots of discussion) court is an option. You can self represent or elicit help from families need fathers and / or a Mackenzie friend. Court should always be the last option.

It may be an idea for your partner to make a proposal ( set out in an email after their discussion) and go from there.

Why is the ex opposed to an extra visit ?

Hope it all works out.

There is a wealth of info on the FNF website.

Sorry for the brief post. There are loads of lovely people on here who can help. good luck.

Thank you Georgia82, the boys mum is very controlling and un-flexible and can be hostile. The problem seems to be that their voluntary informal arrangement worked when the boys where younger for everyone but now the boys 12 and 15 they want to spend more time with their dad (only and extra night would work for them) but mum wants to leave things as they are so she can supervise homework, make sure they have clean clothes etc, although dad is more than capable. The idea of him sending a proposal rather than a direct request seems a very good idea, thank you. FNF have also been really helpful this morning and I can't praise their members highly enough!

No problem bambicat.

Yep, FNF are incredibly helpful aren't they?

In relation to the proposal email if you think that there is going toe an issue withe homework supervision etc..you could try and build something in like, I don't know a skype session to ensure that mum is kept in the loop on the one school night ( of course I'm sure you shouldn't have to, but it might help things).

Of course if she's still not agreeable you could take the next steps. If it came to it I'm pretty sure court would want to have a CAFCASS report which at 12 and 15 would take into account the dcs wishes.