Ex recording conversations without my permission

[AKP79]

I have a very strained relationship with my ex who I see every other Saturday as he has supervised contact with our son. I have been allowing him into my home to visit our don and spend time with him, but whilst I he is here there is often a point during the day where he will start to provoke me and push my buttons. I always try to remain controlled and I have now investigated mediation so we are going to be going down that route. So now when he's here I state I'm not discussing anything and that it all needs to go through mediation.

He lies A LOT and when I recently confronted him on a very serious lie, he finally admitted that he records all our conversations on his iPhone. It makes a lot of sense as to why he lies about things saying they didn't happen when I witnessed them with my own eyes and also why he provokes me to get reactions. I'm not sure what he's aiming to achieve by recording conversations, but I'm cross. I've invited him into my home so that my son and he don't have to meet at a contact centre and he invades my privacy.

I'd really like to know whether he's acting within the law by doing this?

He can, he can get the recordings transcribed as did AM from his meeting with the police, then share the transcripts with anyone he likes.

I think it's appalling behaviour and what angers me is that he's only recording situations he's set up. He knows he's recording them so he reacts appropriately, hence the lying etc.

He can't transcribe what you don't say. I would avoid talking to him in future if I were you.

Agree it would seem like the best route forward.

Yes he is. Any individual is entitled to record a conversation with another individual or someone working for an organisation without permission. Data Protection laws mainly deal with organisations and not private individuals.

He is unlikely to be allowed to play recordings in court although there is nothing to stop him transcribing conversations and using them in court documents - I have known this to happen. Some judge will not like it, some are OK with it. Some will tell someone doing it not to, although there is no power in law in this.

The golden rule is that anything you do, say or type can end up being examined in court so don't do, say or anything you wouldn't be happy to justify during a hearing.

Makes complete sense, thank you. I'm very cross that he's used such underhand tactics.

I haven't said anything I wouldn't say again to him, but I'm disappointed that I've allowed him to wind me up and get me so worked up for his own personal gain. Plus where do you stand with editing etc? It would be very easy for him not to transcribe the provocation etc.

Are you really sure that contact within your home is still the best option? I wouldn't be allowing him one step over the threshold.

I would play him at his own game. I would secretly video everything. From the time he walks through the door until the time he leaves, and I wouldn't tell him ever... Well, until he decides to be a bigger arse and bring up the recorded conversations in a legal capacity.

Unless recordings are made by police they don't carry a great deal of weight and usually aren't admitted in court as evidence. Recordings can be edited or taken out of context. Sometimes a judge may allow a transcription of a recording but in my experience unless there is evidence of serious wrongdoing they aren't as relevant as people think.

Courts may take a very dim view of a parent recording the other parent. Angry exchanges are a feature of parental separation and by producing a transcript of recordings it can appear the parent is more focused on the issues between the adults than the welfare of children. Introducing transcripts of recorded conversations can badly backfire if a judge concludes it is evidence of a pre-mediated set up and manipulative behaviour.

A recording or transcription of one should be treated with the appropriate weight in court - i.e. a judge will be well aware (if he/she decides to see/hear it at all) that it is likely edited and needs context so it would need to be pretty damning to actually hold much weight.

In the first few years of my case I used recordings - secret and open. The latter was used after receiving solicitors letters stating I was being aggressive and abusive during handovers and was expecting this to be used against me in court. By recording openly I created a stalemate where should the matter be raised the other party knew I would be able to demonstrate they were not being honest.

Would the court have agreed to listen to it or the transcripts? Unlikely I'd say. But it worked because it allowed handovers to go ahead without problems.

Family court hearings are often exercises in mudslinging and it's a sad fact that this sort of thing is necessary at all.