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shared residency order please help

4 replies

chewy2388 · 15/11/2013 23:39

My ex ran off wiv my son it took a yr n half to get him bk we av two children tho ee ended up wiv a shared residency order the same day it was awarded I was due to av the kids they live wiv me from mon to fri my daughter had serious injuries tjat were investigated n found to not av happened the way he said it did social services stopped contact since noone cud offer an explanation of how it happened contact was resumed and again my girl came home wiv more severe injuries n the same thing happened they said thete was no possible way that her injuries were inflicted tje way he said but cud not giv an explanation so oncr again contact resumed then he began calling social services about me daily accusing me of awful things each time ive been investigated social have been satisfied wiv my parenting nn closed tje case he then phoned tjem n accused my partner of beating my kids n refused to send them home to me claiming he was safeguarding thrm n again I was investigated he has dun this a few time previously with another ex n two of my friends so is a pattern n now he has the kids once every few months baring in mind he meant to have them every wkend I decided enuf was enuf n wiv social services support I stopped contact now he has phoned the court n is pushing for me to b arrested n sentenced to prison or have the order enforced I have plenty of evidence to back up what I have just written the thing is I want to go bk to court but cant afford it and according to him as he puf a facebook status up saying how he is gona av it enforced n saying tjat as I am breaching I have to pay to go bk to court I am very worried about my kids round him and surely since he didnt maintain regular contact as agreed he was the one in breach I fink a few mnths is a bit long to not c ur kids so surely he wud av to pay and I shud have to ryt to witjdrae from tje order if he breached it first plz help me im worried sick

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 16/11/2013 01:00

You may find you get a few helpful responses if you repost without using text speak and break it down into paragraphs so your post can be read.

Its really hard to understand the way it is now and of course for anyone to advise you decently they need to be able to understand exactly what they are advising on.

One thing I can recommend is if your a woman giving these people a call

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

They are qualified to advise and very good, its hard to get through to them as they are very busy but they are worth it. Hope that helps

STIDW · 16/11/2013 12:00

Or even sentences would make it easier for posters to read.

With hindsight it may have been better to have applied to court to vary the order or for residence rather than just to stop contact but there is no point in worrying about that now.

If your ex starts enforcement or contempt proceedings there is the opportunity for you to have your say. Parents have a duty to protect children and not complying with a contact order may be justified when there is evidence children are being harmed or are at risk of harm, in particular evidence from professionals working with children. People aren't sent to prison unless they are repeatedly in court, don't comply with orders and have no reasonable excuse.

mumblechum1 · 16/11/2013 16:59

OP, it may help people to read your post if it's put into an easier format, so here goes:

"My ex ran off with my son. It took a year and a half to get him back. We have two children though my ex ended up with a shared residency order.

"The same day it was awarded, I was due to have the kids (they live with me from mon to fri). My daughter had serious injuries that were investigated, and found to not to have happened the way he said it did.

"Social services stopped contact since no-one could offer an explanation of how it happened.

"Contact was resumed and again my girl came home with more severe injuries and the same thing happened. They said there was "no possible way that her injuries were inflicted" the way my ex said, but could not give an explanation, and so once again, contact resumed.

"Then my ex began calling social services about me daily, accusing me of awful things. Each time I've been investigated, social services have been satisfied with my parenting and closed the case.

"My ex then phoned Social Services and accused my partner of beating my kids and refused to send them home to me, claiming he was safeguarding them.

Yet again, I was investigated. He has done this a few time previously with another ex and two of my friends, and so there is a pattern, and now he has the kids once every few months.

"Bearing in mind he is meant to have them every weekend, I decided enough was enough, and with social services support, I stopped contact.

"Now, he has phoned the court and is pushing for me to be arrested and sentenced to prison or have the order enforced.

"I have plenty of evidence to back up what I have just written; the thing is I want to go back to court but cant afford it and according to him, as he put a facebook status up saying how he is going to have it enforced and saying that, as I am breaching the order, I have to pay to go back to court.

"I am very worried about my kids around him and surely, since he didn't maintain regular contact as agreed, he was the one in breach.

"I think a few months is a bit long to not see your kids, so surely he would have to pay and I should have the right to withdraw from the order if he breached it first.

"Please help me, I'm worried sick."

It's good that Social Services seem to be supporting you. I recommend that, rather than wait for your ex partner to apply to enforce the current order, you take the initiative and make an application to suspend or vary contact.

If you can not afford a solicitor you can obtain the forms from the HMCTS (court) service.

I can't remember whether it's a C1 or C2, as haven't done family for a long time.

If you can't afford the court fee, you can also apply for exemption from the fee, again the form is downloadable from the court website.

Hopefully one of the family lawyers will be along soon to help.

Spero · 16/11/2013 19:48

Agree with mumble chum.

Don't worry about paying for the order, costs orders in family children cases are very, very rare.

Take the initiative and apply yourself to vary the order. You don't have to pay an issue fee if you are receiving benefits. The court staff will tell you which form to fill in, google which court nearest you does family work. Go on the morning as a lot of court staff have been cut recently and sometimes the court offices close after lunch.

Sounds like you have lots of good evidence to back you up.

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