Son's father applying for residency order

[Gbnewbie]

My 8 month old's dad has just picked him up and has told me he's applying for residency so he has him when I'm at work. I know any order would depend on individual circumstances but on the basis that the parents had never lived together, the child's age and the mothers ability to care for the child without any concerns is there a chance that the courts would grant the father any form of residency?

Another question is - His dad has been emotionally abusive towards me for years. I have witnessed him being violent towards objects. He has a very fiery character. I do not have any witnesses to his abuse of me first hand but know plenty of people who know his character. I have text messages and written accounts of incidents. Will the courts take this into consideration? Thank you

if its your word against his and nothing's been reported to police then you have flimsy evidence. and his behaviour towards you is not necessarily seen as good reason to not have reisdency of child.

in terms of residency - he may get shared residency - in any case if he already has him for contact and eg overnight it is what is happenng anyway. that would give you both equal status.

Have you asked him what he has applied for? I'm assuming he hasn't approached you directly first to discuss what it is what he wants?

I'm just thinking, if he does already have contact with your son and he is asking to have him whilst you're "at work"- perhaps that could actually be a good thing? Your son gets more time with his dad to build a solid relationship and you could potentially save yourself come money on childcare fees too?

What is the current situation? Who has your son whilst you work?

Cest it sounds like you're saying that its likely that he would be granted residency, and that he may be allowed to have him over night. is that right? That fills me with panic.

My lo is breastfed on demand and his dad currently has him twice a week for up to 3 hours at a time.

mumtobe I'm on mat leave at the moment. I haven't asked him as he's not reliable. He told me to expect a letter. Hes completely manipulative.

I don't think you should be too worried about an application for a Residence Order.

It's unlikely the courts would disrupt a child's sense of security and established bonds by ordering a change of sole residence from one parent to the other unless there is professional evidence from social services, health workers etc that a child isn't surviving satisfactorily. However the father may be awarded more contact, including when you are at work if he is well placed to care for the child, overnights, holidays and eventually shared residence.

It is Parental Responsibility that gives both parents equal responsibility and rights to carry out those responsibilities. A Residence Order determines where a child lives and can be in favour of one parent or shared so the child "lives" with both parents in two homes. Shared residence can be in different proportions and it doesn't necessarily mean sharing the time 50:50.

Practically a Shared Residence Order isn't much different from the more traditional Residence/Contact Order. In any event when it is implemented the Children and Families Bill 2013 is due to replace Residence/Contact Orders with Child Arrangement Orders.

Thank you STIDW.
Would the fact that we've never lived together be taken into account?
There is no social services involvement and nothing about my situation which means I am unable to care for my lo fully.
He is extremely emotionally abusive so I am terrified as to what damage his behaviour will do our son. I know how hard it is to prove ea unless there are witnesses events. I just want to protect my son from him. It's terrifying that a court could grant him more access let alone possibly shared residency.

Yes the courts will take into account the fact that you have never lived together and the attachment your child has with his father. That may mean little and often contact for is extended gradually into longer less frequent spells, overnights and then holidays. Shared Residence Orders as such may no longer exist by the time the matter is settled.

The court should also take into account your ex's behaviour and emotional abuse/manipulative behaviour could well become apparent during court proceedings.

Courts are well used to parents making allegations and counter allegations and it's difficult for a judge to decide between two versions of the same story unless there is independent professional evidence. Even when there is evidence the court weighs up any harm children suffer or the risk of harm and the effects of any abuse on the child against the harm a child is likely to suffer when they don't have a good attachment with a natural parent.