Advice needed re ExH and Parental Responsibility

[Stroppygoddess]

Please excuse no full-stops as the button is broken on my keyboard;

Can anyone help? My ExH left me and DS five years ago, moved abroad and has had no contact since; He pays no support and never has done;I don't even klnow where ExH is now

Ds is now nearly 6;

We were married for five years and ExH's name is on Ds's birth certificate;

I successfully obtained a Change Of Name court order to change ds's surname to my maiden name after he had gone;

I am a lone parent with no family;

After H left I changed my will making my best friend trustee and executor (along with the solicitors who drew up my will) and naming her as Guardian to Ds should I die;

I have two questions: can my friend obtain Parental Responsibility for ds
and/or does she need to if she is named as guardian in my will?

Ds has serious health issues and needs a lot of hospital treatment for two years so making sure that my friend can legally make all decisions for him re his treatment is important to me

Secondly, can she obtain Power of Attorney and does she need to?

I doubt very much that my ExH will suddenly turn up and want to see Ds and I would absolutely not want him to have any legal rights over ds if he did, as I have plenty of proof that he engaged in a lot of very dubious sexual activity in the country he moved to

But does ExH still have PR after five years of no contact and now not even knowing where in the world he is living?

There was no financial settlement when I divorced him as he only acknowledged the divorce petition by email (didn't respond to it) and my solicitor said it would be pointless sending him the huge financial form

Does the fact that there was no financial settlement still mean that IF he did suddenly return, he would have any claim on my house and estate?

Thanks for any advice

Sorry, just to clarify, I mean that I would want my friend to have PR in order to make decisions re Ds's medical treatment, should I die, not while I am alive;

thanks

First of all, unless you know the law firm whom you have appointed to be trustees and executors of your Will very well indeed, I would look at this again. I would never appoint a firm or a partnership of a firm as my executors. Secondly, you should set out the situation in your letter of wishes which should be updated regularly and witnessed (not usual for a letter of wishes) and kept with your Will. It should set out the situation clearly and express your wish that your friend should have legal guardianship of your ds in the event that you predecease him whilst he is a minor.

I would also ensure that you have a backup plan in the event that your friend dies before you i.e. another person whom you trust to care for your son and manage the money for your son's benefit whilst he is a minor.

I have no doubt whatsoever that the law firm you went to are honest and upright people who would do a great job. The problem is that they would have to charge your estate to act as that is what all lawyers do. And I imagine that you want to keep your estate for the benefit of your ds rather than paying legal fees, however small.

Thank you Mrsbarlow

If I don't have the law firm as executors and trustees (alongside my friend) then who else can you suggest?

Another friend? I have another very close friend whom I could appoint alongside my best friend (they know each other and are agreed that should anything happen to me they will liase over my son and sorting out my estate)

I just assumed I would have to have a lawyer as one of the trustees and executors - but maybe that is wrong

You make an excellent point about having a back-up plan which I admit has not occurred to me

I shall do something about that

Finally I have not heard of a 'Letter of Wishes' and I certainly have not written anything like this: my will is a simple two pages naming my friend as guardian and my estate, after fees for inheritance tax etc, is left in trust to my son
Can you help me any further?

i have made an appointment next tuesday to see a solicitor from the law firm who drew up my will, to draw up a draft Power of Attorney document for my friend which the sol advises is a good idea and probably is but it's going to cost me 300 pounds

Thankyou again for your help

Yes he still has PR

soulsister I know that. Thanks anyway