Reporting historic abuse

[Consideringreporting]

I know there is a very similar thread on here at the moment but I am not so brave as that op and am asking for some authoritative advice on what might happen in my situation.

I was 'in a relationship' when I was 15 with a woman in her 40s. At the time I thought it was simply a secretive affair that whilst not hugely healthy was my choice. Looking back I see how isolated I was by this person, how I'd been groomed from a younger age and that it was in fact abusive. I was slightly in awe this person who was in a position of power and responsibility over me. It has taken years to see just how unhealthy this was for me.

I don't want to go to court and I don't even want her to know I have reported it. I am under no illusions as to how difficult it is to get convictions in these cases and this one I feel would be particularly tricky given my 'willing' participation and the fact I would not lie about my ambivalence in a court. :( I am also very scared of the repercussions. This person is fairly high profile locally and I don't doubt that it would make the news and that friends and family would piece it together regardless of so called anonymity. I also have very good reason to feel she is a complete psychopath and would actually fear for my safety given some of her connections. I realise that sounds a bit melodramatic but I don't feel it is completely unrealistic. At the very least she might try to sue me for slander and claim it was a false allegation.

However I am torn by the fact she may have done this to someone else and still has access to vulnerable young women. I just want something on record in case anyone else reports it so that is taken more seriously.

So can anyone tell me if that is possible? Can I make a complaint without her being informed if that and without it being taken out of my hands and going forward to a prosecution?

Yes you can still report it. If any criminal offences are confirmed then it should be recorded as an offence. You can still say you do not want any action and would not support a prosecution if you feel it would make your life more difficult. The report could be used as intelligence if similar allegations are made by other people.

That is certainly not the case in my force. We do not log crimes fot information purposes - if someone reports a crime, with a named offender, we are duty bound to fully investigate that allegation, including taking statements, making arrests and charging people if necessary. We had a recent case with an unwilling victim of sexual offences - she was arrested and brought before the court as the judge deemed it in the public interest that her evidence be heard.

I'm afraid that reporting this sort of offence starts a juggernaut which, as the victim, you are completely powerless to stop. The police will support you and try to get you every resource they can to make it easier but you must go into the process with your eyes open to what it may result in.

I was stating that if a crime is confirmed it will be recorded. If you refuse to cooperate with the investigation it won't be going very far-that was my point.

Thanks to you both. I guess that is what I fear ohdearnigel. Do you if there is anyway to log something without the process going any further?