Need help. Refused contact by ExDp

[mrscumberbatch]

Fortunately this isn't for me, but if anyone can shed some light on what to do next I'd greatly appreciate it.

Friend has been denied access to his child. He pays CSA etc and has tried to mediate but she won't comply and has aggressive new spouse.

Friend cannot afford solicitor but doesn't think he is entitled to any legal aid.

Can anyone shed any light on what, if anything, can be done here to move things forward?

He can apply for a contact order. He can represent himself. He can start the process by filling in form C100 and sending it to his local county court or family court. It costs £215 to apply but he may get help with the fees if he is on benefits or a low income.

Thanks for the reply. I know that his is on a low income and is probably claiming benefits. Who would he speak to about getting help with costs?

He applies to the court at the same time as he submits his C100. He needs to complete form EX160. There is a booklet, EX160a, that will allow him to work out whether or not he is eligible and explains how he goes about getting a reduced fee.

That's amazing. Thank you. I've been having a good google about and kept getting conflicting info so that is very helpful!

I would suggest before filing at court he writes a formal letter requesting contact. Keep it polite and business like but with clear and realistic proposals and if possible suggest mediation or happy to discuss etc. This may work with the mother and, if it does not, will put him in good light if he then needs to go to court as having tried to be constructive and her having refused to respond or to mediate.

prh47 and mumsforjustice just gave excellent advice. If he has a record of his previously offering to mediate, that would also help, eg a copy of the text/email.

He shouldn't mention anything about maintenance; it is always a totally separate issue from contact.

Would highly recommend he joins FNF (Families Need Fathers).

It's a parenting charity (that assists anyone - mums, dads, grandparents, cousins) who need assistance for this sort of thing following the separation of parents. It has support meetings all over the UK, telephone support lines and a website full of help. Google it or give me a shout if you want a few pointers.

Regarding contact - there is no link in law between maintenance and contact so it's irrelevant him paying or not. If his child has been denied contact with his/her father for any length of time it is important he act now - the longer he sits around doing nothing, the greater the status quo of no contact and the stronger the argument will be for that to remain.

It is standard to offer mediation in attempt to resolve things amicable and the courts often like this. On the other hand it is not uncommon for a recalcitrant ex to drag this process out as long as possible to delay things and build a stronger status quo. If you are sure that mediation is a waste of time (and although I sincerely wish it were otherwise it is often the case) I would recommend he put an application now. Whilst courts prefer mediation I have not attended a hearing where not doing so has actually made much of a difference and the `worst case scenario' is the court ordering mediation take place.

The form is a C100 and is easy to fill in and costs about £215. Fill it in, go to the nearest court to Mum (County - Magistrates are less likely to make a decision) and pay in cash to avoid problems. Get a receipt too.

Then wait.

Would strongly advise against going to court alone. You cannot write and take notes and it is hard to think logically on such an emotive topic. If money is problem, consider a McKenzie Friend (an assistant who give you a lot of help but cannot litigate on your behalf and doesn't have automatic rights of audience in court). There ARE free ones who work for expenses and fee-charging ones but they can cost less than a quarter of solicitor. They range from bad to good just as anyone else does - the higher end ones are worth their weight in gold and can swing a case whilst being available pretty much 24/7. (I am biased though - it's something I do with my other half).

If he does nothing else though, contact FNF. Seriously.

Fnf are a bunch of arses who will take your case and use it for their political purposes and make you look like an acrimonous jerk in court. Not going to help you.
If you can, pay a real lawyer.
If not , self rep and use the psu at the royal courts of justice (google psu royal courts) or cab.
Good luck!

Maybe mumsforjustice is thinking of fathers for justice, given her name not surprising!

I've worn all manner of silly costumes most people wouldn't be seen dead in over the years but never a batman suit and I've never chained myself to a public building either.

I've had some dealings with FnF (from the inside - I attended some of their local meetings and gave some informal advice to some members and formal advice to others) and have to say that I found those organising certainly my local branch very balanced and helpful, and not at all as mumsforjustice makes out. I found some of the advice they were giving to litigants at times misguided, but most of the time they were reining in those parents intent on steaming ahead with unrealistic proposals and getting them to adopt a more balanced, child focussed approach.

I felt sometimes that when detailed advice was being given within court proceedings they could become focussed on the wrong things.

I would agree with a lot of what you say Collaborate. We spend a great deal of time trying to `talk people down' who are angry at the situation they find themselves in, trying to get them to concentrate on an amicable and child-focused solution and to avoid a bitter court case that does no one any good whatsoever.

Apologies I do mean fatherforjustice. I can not comment on families for justice so sorry for any confusion. And only just checked back.