Hi, this is such a massive long story that I couldn't fit it all in if I tried, so I am not drip feeding if I miss anything.
I have had a really quite horrible 25 year life with my parents, as a child I suffered isolation, embarrassments and physical assault but the biggest thing was the emtional abuse,
My mum stood by and allowed my step dad to treat me very badly, most of the time she would press the red button and he would launch. Last year we were on holiday with my parents, my mum was in one of her moods which 9 times out of 10 end with me being screamed and shouted at by my dad..inevitably this happened and I endured an hour screaming in my face about how bad I am from him after this incident I decided enough was enough and I needed to show my daughter a good example with my husbands support I decided to cut ties with them, my mum subsequently admitted that she had lied to cause my dad to do what he did however j didn't get an apology. I even asked them to go to relate counselling with me but they refused
Over a couple of months things slowly went back to normal, with them seeing my daughter I was seeing them regular so it just all disappeared, from this I started to remember things that happened and realised very quickly how they treat me is really not normal and not how someone should be treated time went by and in January we had out second daughter,
She was a very poorly baby, and we spent the first 4 months in and out of hospital. During this time I thought me and mum parents had got to a place we had never been before and as a family we were getting on really well then there was an issue with a family member from my husbands side, a relationship which was already strained over flowed into a disagreement about how we were dealing with out dd2 we dealt with it and moved on, I confided in my mum about it and asked her not to say anything as escalating it would cause us many problems,
However my mum is not one to stay quiet, she lives her life on facebook and is always posting passive aggressive status updates aimed at people then denys they even exist if confronted, with this issue she decided to post about this other family member when I had really asked her not to it caused a break out of hell..she turned up at our house I was trying to explain to her that it had made our lives even harder on top of a sick child we now had a family member giving us even more shit she went through the usual 'it wasn't about them' 'I have freedom of speech' my husband never says anything and hates confrontation, he had had enough of it all and he told her not to insult his intelligence and just admit what she had done with that she said that she thinks I am making it all up as I am depressed again!! It was said in a very nasty and vindictive way..I made her leave.
Again I went to not speaking to her, a friend told me she had been talking about me on Facebook and when she went to get her nails done, I started doing some digging to see what she was saying..she was telling people I was stopping her seeing the kids, that I was selfish and that she didn't know what to do with me..rightly or wrongly I logged into her facebook account I am glad that I did as I found several conversations which she was telling people that my husband was abusing me (untrue) she told someone my daughter was 6 weeks premature and would be in hospital for a long time (she was 2 weeks planned elcs) she told someone my dad had cancer (he had septicaemia following an operation to remove a splint which had been left in following gall bladder removal)
I decided to confront her, I took screen shots and wanted to know what she's playing at..she set my dad on me all they would focus on is that I read her messages no apology or explanation. I decided to cut off totally I couldn't go through anymore of their shit.
For about 6 weeks we heard nothing, then an aquantance called me out of the blue saying my parents want to see our kids I explained everything to her and she told them no on my behalf. Then a friend who knew me when I was small made an offer to be the drop off point for the kids so I wouldn't have to see my parents and they got to see them.i agreed on the basis it didn't effect our friendship and it was all working fine, so the last 6 weeks they have seen the kids a few times, there was a 3 week period where they didn't get in contact or ask to see them then last weekend they asked, we agreed.
This is the relevant part.. (sorry) on Monday they asked if they could have the girls for 2 nights this weekend, we said no as it ruins routines to much and it causes me a nightmare week getting everything back to normal, out friend couldn't accommodate any less because of other commitments, so told them it would have to be the weekend after..
On Thursday I received a letter from a family mediation company, when I called them they advised that my parents had been there a couple months ago (timed with prior to the current arrangement) however instructed themto send me the letter on tuesday..so because we said no to one weekend they have decided to sens this, the people said it is the first step to taking us to court for guaranteed arranges access, I called the CAB and they advised if we did not agree to go to the meeting that it would end up being detrimental to our case if it went to court so we have booked the appointment to go.
My friend who offered to do the drop off has fallen out withme and has been pretty disgusting to me in things she has said, my heart really is broken over that as I have known her a very very long time.
What can I do? I feel like moving to the other end of the country! Has anyone been through this? Any help would be appreciated greatly.