Arrange funeral or council funeral

[Jan49]

I have a very distant elderly relative (second cousin) who is close to death. She lives 200 miles away from me. She has no other relatives and hasn?t made a Will. When she dies, there is no one other than me that would be willing to pay for the funeral. I know I could arrange and pay for it and hopefully claim it back from her estate ? there is enough money to cover this. But I could just leave it for the council to arrange a funeral. I?m worried about arranging the funeral from a distance as I?d probably have to go there just for the funeral itself. Other than me she probably has 3 friends who would want to attend, none of whom would want to pay for the funeral. Has anyone experienced arranging a funeral without actually going to the location? She?s in hospital so will someone from the hospital attend the registry office to register her death if I don?t go? How does the hospital even find out if any relatives exist - she has a neighbour down as next of kin although this neighbour would contact me.

It is possible to arrange a funeral by telephone and email. Depends on the funeral director and on the priest or celebrant but I often end up doing at least some of the arrangements for funerals by email, even when I have been able to meet the family beforehand .

Next of kin can get a £2000 payment, this is not means tested. Funeral places are used to waiting for the payment to come though.

I don't know if it helps but if she has money available in her estate to cover the funeral costs (as in in bank accounts, not relying on property sale) then you wont need to pay for the funeral yourself. The invoice for the funeral directors can be passed on to her bank who will settle it from her funds before probate etc is sorted out. This can also be done with her outstanding utility bills etc too.

You would need to register the death in person wouldn't you? I admit, I only have experience of my own parents' deaths so don't know what would happen if someone with "no-one" passed away.

Are you sure you are the only living relative? As such, will you be in line for an inheritance? I only mention this as I could not live with the guilt if I had let a relative of mine have a council funeral & then received a hefty cheque!

Who is this relative?

Given that you are her only living relative do you not feel any compulsion to go and see her before she dies? You could use the opportunity to speak with a funeral director and get them in place for when she dies. Death is inevitable for us all. No reason why you shouldn't do that.

Wow, thank you for the speedy replies.

She is my second cousin once removed. Her mother and my grandad were each other's direct first cousins. As they lived only a mile apart all their lives, they kept in touch and I stayed in touch with her after my gps died. Only first cousins would inherit without a Will (England). I am fairly sure there are none but if there had been they would probably be dead by now. The older generations of both our families are dead. She is single and childless and had 2 siblings who died childless.

I saw her recently and feel I've said my goodbyes and she isn't really 'aware' now. I live 200 miles away and I'm a single parent/carer to my adult son with autism so it's difficult for me to go again - he'd have to come too.

Ah ok if you've seen her already then no I don't think you need to go again. I would ring a funeral director local to her and have a chat then. Find out what can and can't be done. The registration is going to be the main awkward thing but there must be a way round that.