Never employing a nanny again! Can anyone please advise?

[knackeredmother]

We have had a nanny for over 2 years. She is looking to leave in September so we agreed leave verbally on an accrued basis rather than yearly. From April to August she has 5 days leave (works 2 days per week, 5.6 weeks pro rata per year).
She has already taken 4 of her 5 days leave. She has a 2 week holiday booked in August, I have agreed to this despite her not having enough leave.
She then asked for a further week unpaid leave. I said no for a number of reasons. She repeatedly asked, I repeatedly said no.
We are now in a stalemate situation where she has categorically said she is taking the extra week leave despite me saying no.
She initially said she may leave but now is saying 'I (employer) need to decide what to do'. I keep repeating the line that I would like her to carry on working for us but can not give her the extra week, I've already given more than she is entitled to etc.
I get the impression she wants to be sacked so she can go to tribunal for cash and she is receiving advice not to leave.
I can't afford to pay her redundancy and don't see why I should when she is making the situation difficult.
So, the advice I need is can I call this gross misconduct on her part and let her go? Or am I in for an expensive and stressful fight?
Do I need to wait until she actually fails to arrive for work before Ican sack her?
I have no doubt she plans to try and get money out of me as she has stated her intention to leave in September anyway, is blatantly telling me she is taking the time off regardless of what I say. Surely you would just leave early in August if you were in her situation?
Anyway this is stressing me out so much, I feel she is just laughing at us and in law can do whatever she likes - someone please tell me this is not so!

I think you will need to make plans for alternative childcare. As you say if you let her go she will have a claim for redundancy. If you sack her she may have a claim against you - even if not justified you do not need the hassle. What would worry me is that even if she says she will work after all, she may suddenly fall ill that week either because she really does want the week off, or out of spite.

I would not let her know you have made other plans though - just keep repeating that you cannot approve another week unless she has a really compelling reason (very ill relative or something). Then when she doesn't turn up, you can say you will be mentioning it in her reference but I would not sack her at that stage if she is leaving anyway. Has she given her notice in yet? You need to have notice from her in writing - ask for this so you can plan her replacement.

No notice yet wouldliketobethere as I believe she has yet to find a job. She is advertising for a post from September.
She has been in touch tonight to say she will not hand in her notice, is taking the days regardless and basically what am I going to do about it?
I am gobsmacked by the whole thing tbh.

Sounds like things are not going well. What is the notice period? Although you could give her warnings etc and ultimately dismiss, is she going to be looking after your DC in the meantime? Maybe it would be better to give her notice and pay redundancy just to be shot of her. Deduct any holiday entitlement she has taken in excess of what she is due and say she is to work out her notice period (is it one month?).

Obviously she wont be getting a good reference!

Notice period is one month. I know
It would be easier to pay redundancy but why should I?
I want to scream you are a mentalist- see you in court, but obviously realise I can't do that.
She did let slip that a previous employer did something similar so perhaps it would work..... (Joking!)

Firstly if you are getting another Nanny you can not make her redundant as the post still exists.
As an employer I would write to her stating that unfortunately you are unable to accommodate this unpaid leave. In the letter remind her that failure to attend work will result in formal disciplinary action. Don't specify what the disciplinary action will be.
I would hope this would show her you are not a push over and you don't have to agree to this and that she will attend.
If she fails to attend I would get some employment advice, but I would think that as a nanny offering sole charge care there is a good chance that failure to attend could be gross misconduct.

As far as I am aware being absent without it being an official approved holiday or sick leave is gross misconduct and she can be dismissed for this instantly that day i.e. the day she returns to work. It is likely that she will claim it sick as you can self cert for a week. You could still sack her and she could take you to court but the money she would gain is probably not worth the court fee involved. The fact she keeps asking for that holiday and you have said no is also a disciplinary matter IMO.
All that aside, I would make her redundant - use another form of child care for a short while and then hire someone else but your OP header says you will not have another one, so you could make her redundant and use alternative child care.

OP I would post this in the Employment section,you may get some expert help .

As LoneCat has said, you need to be writing, not talking! ......it will be your backup if she does think about legal action.

Write her a letter outlining that you have a) accepted her verbal notice to leave in September but will require a confirmed leaving date b) that you confirm that, as per your discussion and the terms of her contract she has x amount of paid leave left to take, and that as a gesture of goodwill you will agree a further x number of days c) that you are unable to agree a request for additional unpaid leave. d) that you understand that she wishes to take a more extended holiday and are therefore happy to agree an earlier termination date providing that an application for earlier termination of contract is made before x x date e) that if she absents herself from work for the week for which unpaid leave has been denied, without having agreed this as an early termination of contract, it will nevertheless be considered as such and she will be considered to have resigned.

Run the finished document past the legals before giving it to her, but I think this covers the bases.

I am sorry I don't have any constructive advice but if I fell out with a nanny over holiday plans two months' hence I'd feel very uncomfortable about a resentful person having care of my child.