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Complete cock up of divorce. Long sorry

13 replies

Visitingtethersend · 16/06/2013 11:31

Basically split with ex husband in 2009. Appointed a solicitor, I moved out and he wanted to keep the house. Fine. We agreed a settlement which was massively in his favour which with various excuses he went back on, losing his job. He had no solicitor, I did. Then he stopped responding to the solicitor at all. Eventually got my divorce in July 2012. The court awarded the cost of the divorce to him by CCJ. Yep you guessed it no financial settlement which no one told me was essential although I had as above tried to sort it. He then requested via my mum the house be sold which i agreed. i changed aolicitor as the one we used before was difficult to get him to do anything or speak to. ten i recieve a solicitors letter from my ex. He's now suddenly £20,000 in debt and currently in Spain on holiday And remarrying and now wants my pension most of the house equity etc which equates to around £19,000. My solicitor advised we find another solicitor who deals with family law who I'm seeing on Tuesday. He also says I left the joint account £1000 in debt, it was but he also removed my name from that account without my signature or anything. He says he spent £5000 on home improvements, I was £6000 in debt wham I left as I redecorated and put in a new kitchen and bathroom and boarded the loft out. I plucked up courage to look through the window as he no longer lives there and it looks like a squatters lived there in all honesty. It's filthy. I don't have kids with him but have met and had two children with my lovely dp. If this gets nasty which it seems it will, will a court look favourably on fairness in all this? I also have a second mortgage now and am paying all of the old house mortgage too as he kept defaulting on it and I'm paying his £1000 arrears. He's told his solicitor I've only being it a month, I can prove its seen months I've been paying it and have done before while he took various women on foreign holidays. This was plastered all over Facebook. He is twenty years older than me and I very EA which I didn't realise at the time and my first solicitor told me EA didn't exist and couldn't be put on my divorce. I am quite ill with anxiety and have suffered at his hands for years but i still want things to be fair. That's all I ask.
Please someone with experience tell me that it turns out ok.

Thank you so much for reading and I'm sorry if its jumbled, my head is a shed an I'm shaking.

Also apologise there's no paragraphs.

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Visitingtethersend · 16/06/2013 11:46

Sorry also, he paid the mortgage was paid by him mostly while he lived in it with a few defaults. His solicitor states that I am " paying the mortgage in its entirety as I should be" is not a joint thing?

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juneau · 16/06/2013 11:49

My advice would be to get yourself the best family solicitor you can and let him/her sort it out with your DP's solicitor.

Is the law fair? It tries very hard to be. Does it take both individuals own personal circumstances and financial commitments, other DC, etc into account when deciding a financial settlement? Yes.

Cease direct communication with your ex and do everything through your solicitor. The situation is messy, so don't make it more so. If everything is done via solicitor it is all documented and nothing can be hidden or misconstrued.

Visitingtethersend · 16/06/2013 11:55

Thank you for replying. I havnt had direct contact with him for four years thankfully, everything has been via solicitors.

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Chubfuddler · 16/06/2013 11:58

When your solicitor has sorted out the mess your first solicitor made, I suggest you ask advice about bringing a claim for compensation against said first solicitor for the financial loss incurred by their fuck up.

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/06/2013 13:32

I am so sorry this has happened to you visiting. I hope reading your story helps others to realise how important a financial consent order is at the time of divorce.
My solicitor was at pains to tell me that this was almost the most important part of the process and how without it stories like yours happen.
So often I see on here people saying oh you don't need to bother there is no need.
I hope you get it all sorted out and some recompense for the poor advice you had originally,

RedHelenB · 16/06/2013 13:33

how much money are you talking about? you will have the upper hand as you have children to support. FWIW & I know not everyone will agree with me, get the house sold so you no longer have to pay the mortgage & have a clean break, no matter what bit of the equity he ends up with.

Visitingtethersend · 16/06/2013 13:56

Hi cheers everyone. I should add the divorce went through without his consent in the end as he simply didn't respond to anything. However the second solicitor found him within days. House is for sale but I don't have access to it. I suspect he's tried to sell it behind my back but have no proof. Mum had phone calls from an express estate agency and then one from him saying it was a mistake. The equity in the house is roughly £20,000 I would guess. He has his own pension so goodness knows what he's done with it. His solicitor is adamant he will be receiving enough to cover his debt by the looks of it, regardless of what I have left. My pension I guess is around 40,000 so far, but I've put into it ten years and have bought back three years so its a full one. I do however have two mortgages at present and more going out than coming in. I've been asked to drop house price which I'm not against but sought legal advice and have had to swap mid point. His solicitor threatened me with court if I didn't drop the price within 48 hours but they sent letter to wrong address with my maiden name on it. How on earth it made its way to me three weeks later is anybody's guess.

This is my whiny part, how can he rack up that much debt, swan off to Spain, plan a wedding and we have struggled to get enough together to take DS to Thomas Land for his 3rd birthday. I will stop with self pity now.

I also apologise for the terrible typos earlier, bit of a mess I'm in at mo.

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RedHelenB · 16/06/2013 15:22

For that little money I wouldn't waste my time - he has house & pays mortgage until it is sold & pensions stay as they are with a clean break settlement. You chose to have a new family - that is nothing to do with him , don't mix the two up. Once you have finished paying two mortgages you will have enough for trips to theme parks etc.

Visitingtethersend · 16/06/2013 15:43

I was going to suggest that as I have no interest in the house but I have a feeling he will say no as he can't afford the mortgage by the sounds of it. But I don't see how I can be more reasonable than that. There's enough in the equity to clear his debt.

I know what you mean by I chose to have a family but I didn't see any benefit of his debt that he has racked up and now trying to get me for. That's what I mean by being fair, if that makes sense.

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RedHelenB · 16/06/2013 15:49

Well, if you are crafty I would suggest you say you will take over the house & marketing seeing as you are paying the mortgage & will give him 50% of the equity of the house. Have a feeling he won't like that so you may well end up with my suggestion & him feeling he has got one over on you! His solicitor will have advised him that given he was living in the family home after you split that the new debt occurred is not a debt of the marriage ( could be if say he was forced to rent a flat at a higher value than the mortgage)

Visitingtethersend · 16/06/2013 15:57

Could be an option. He's living with his wife to be now in a house which is for sale also at considerably more than ours is. Nothing to do with me but I can't help feeling aggrieved that they will be rolling in it and sail off into the sunset. But yes I'm more than happy with the 50/50 of the house and save my pension. The mortgage is less than renting for sure. Thank you for taking time to reply, feeling a bit less panic stricken now.

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Collaborate · 16/06/2013 23:32

If you divorced him then he cannot apply for a financial order within divorce after he has remarried. He'd have to issue the application before the wedding. Just sit tight for now. The court won't be able to make a pension sharing order (not that it would if they are worth £20k and £40k) in his favour if he delays.

Doesn't mean to say that he couldn't apply for an order for sale of the jointly owned house, but he'd get no more than his half.

Visitingtethersend · 17/06/2013 10:04

Hi

I have no idea what his pension is worth to be honest. I have no idea when his wedding in either unfortunately.

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