Are these comments from a Judge normal / acceptable? (long)

[Twitterqueen]

Long story short, but I cashed in a life assurance policy rather than re-assign to ex-H as part of settlement, and paid him the value that was confirmed at time of split. Was subsequently told I shouldn't have done this (I couldn't afford legal advice & had signed papers to ensure I didn't benefit from ex-H's additional pension payments from time of split to final settlement).

I wrote to the Court asking for guidance on whether I needed to pay the extra or not. Court responded saying 'no direction' sort it out between yourselves.

Ex-H pays no child support - refused until made to by CSA, then made redundant.

Ex-H takes me to court for the different (£1,027 + 660 costs).

Judge "you have made various other deductions from this amount without justification" (I didn't).

Judge "I gave no direction in the letter" (Well what does "Not really (on request for clarification) Mr & Mrs should try to sort it out themselves).

Judge "you had plenty of time to stop the policy being cashed in" (I didn't, I paid the cheque before I got the solicitor's letter)

Judge "you didn't pay until January" (wrong, I paid in December) Judge "well that's irrelevant".

Judge "Child support is irrelevant to this issue" (ex-H has always refused to pay, also to pay either of our 2 mortgages for 6 months - I have never been able to recover the money)

Judge "We're not here to enforce payment of the pension allocation" (now 7 months overdue). "If you want to do that you will have to apply to the court."

Judge "If you want to pay in installments you will need to make appication to the court".

Me "I don't have the money"

Judge "Irrelevant".

Is this normal? I feel completely victimised. I have sole care of 3 teenage daughters and ex-H has been a total, utter, complete bastard. He has a harrassment order agains him plus I have had to go to the police about his continous (over 2 years) abusive emails.

Why is all of this irrelevant?

Sorry, but child support is under the jurisdiction of the CSA therefore irrelevant in the courts eyes re this problem. You agreed to reasign the policy to exh & didn't therefore it is that & only that that the judge can comment in. If ex h agreed in the consent order to pay the 2 mortgages & didn't then you need to take that back to court in order to enforce payment.

if its any consolation some judges are wily intelligent and fair. Many are surprisingly stupid. I think you had one of the latter. Stating 'you had plenty of time' when you didn't either means a. he didn't understand what he wss being asked to understand or b. he just decided what the other party said was true whatever it was.. Sadly judges can do this. They can 'find fact' something which isn't fact at all and to appeal is to call a judgement perverse which is to cause max rank- closing.

seek advice on wriggle room but if no direction then no direction.. he can't argue with that if you ask for a 'review' do that straight away if you can its yhr politest way to 'draw the judges attention' to his inconsistency. y his has to be done v. quickly stating why..short time on review ( assuming you can.. ask)

I agree with RedHelenB. A judge can only deal with the applications before the court. If you have a greivance with the operation of the pension sharing order, bring an application to court.

Don't know why on earth you would have cashed in the policy when you were ordered to assign it to him. You say you paid him less than you got when you cashed it in? If that's true, no wonder you got short shrift from the judge.

Collaborate - he took me to enforce an agreement that was agreed under duress (me & 3 children homeless). In that agreement the amount of the life assurance policy was agreed, as was me paying him that sum.

I paid him that sum, not less. But the policy had gone up in value over the year - as had his pension. I signed papers to ensure I didn't benefit from the additional value of his pension. I assumed he would not benefit from the additional value of my policy.

NotDead thanks. But I can't cope with any more. I've had 2.5 years of horrendous crap from him. I will pay him just to (hopefully) get rid of him. It won't end though. I know that. For him it's all about control and spite and revenge (I ended the marriage.)

So what did the judge order - that you pay the £1027 and £660 costs and by when?

You certainly should pressure your ex to fulfil his side of the original order and if he has not done apply to court to require him to do so but as said above that is legally separate even if morally you do not see why you should not make some kind of set off.

In a sense it's all done now and too late to worry about the fact you did not comply with the original order and that the judge did not seem very pleasant. I think the best course is trying to change your feelings, trying not to think about it and sorting out a way to pay what is due so the sorry saga is over, whilst enforcing the bits your husband should comply with giving him 7 days to comply otherwise you apply to the court.

What is the payment of the pension allocation? Was a pension sharing order made and you are paid that when you both reach retirement age or was it an extra lump sum your husband was supposed to pay to you?

Hi Xenia
Ex-H refused payments in installments and the Judge upheld his decision, so I have to pay it all by Julay 10th.
You are right of course. I cannot change anything now so I need to move on.

Unfortunately because the Judge refused to even talk about the pension (which is an allocation) I cannot just pay and forget.

The Judge made it very clear he wanted me to get representation - clearly he didn't like talking directly to me. And the sum is fixed - not a percentage, so I don't get any of the interest I'm losing. Ex-h can hold onto it for years and benefit from the interest though.

Hey ho - I used to think justice and Judges were fair. I know different now.