Family court

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Hello,
I have served court papers to my ex to get a DCO. He has initiated mediation in the past and declined it.
He's completely untrustworthy with any agreement anyway.
I've just got a solicitors letter demanding a ridiculous schedule of contact dated several days after the court papers were served and signed for.
I'm not preparing for my first hearing and first cafcass appointment. It is around a month away.
I have diary evidence, and a good statement, I've several other forms of evidence, a witness statement.
I'm currently reading the guide to representing yourself in court by Lucy reed. I've had several solicitors appointment but now have to and have been recommended representing myself- I'm okay doing this.

My question is can I submit a statement from my doctor about how I have been affected by UR behaviour?
Any tips? And what would you take or advise in the first hearing?

TIA

Anyone? Please?

The court will try, at the first hearing, to get it knocked on the head by you and your ex talking to a cafcass officer in the court building on the day. if you manage to agree something, you go back into court and may or may not end up with an order.

More frequently, this attempt at sorting out the problem fails, although it's still helpful in that it often narrows down the issues. If you end up not agreeing on the day, the court will make a directions order and at that point you need to pipe up that you would like both of you to file statements. You can attach a copy of a doctor's letter to your statement, but they don't have to do an actual formal statement at this point.

The court may not be particularly interested in how your ex's behaviour has affected you, to be brutally frank. They're much more interested in looking forward and ensuring that your DC has a decent relationship with his or her dad. If there have been DV issues, you can ask that the contact handovers are supervised, or that contact takes place at a contact centre for a fairly short period.

Your ex will also have to file a statement and the court is likely to also appoint a cafcass officer (usually a different one from the one you see at court), to meet with everyone and file a report recommending what contact should take place.

Hi
I have my first hearing soon too! Very nervous as I feel like my solicitor isn't really doing the necessary! :-(

Thank you mumble.
I've spent ages sorting out all the cafcass chronology and statements too!
So I don't really need to take anything to the first hearing no?

I'm so nervous too

Make sure that you keep to the point. If this is about setting agreed contact dates between your children and the NRP then his behaviour towards you or your relationship with him is not the point.

If you go down this route you'll irritate the court.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

I've done all that
It's just the cafcass statement is asking for past relationship history?

Past relationship history should be a factual chronology:
date you met
date moved in together
date married (if approp)
date separated

Anything else you want to say must be factually correct as you will be cross examined and if you exaggerate it will raise a doubt about whether other things are also exaggerated. So for example, if the police were called because your ex assaulted you, you must mention it, with the relevant date, and the outcome (eg he was bailed), but the most important thing is to say whether your DC witnessed/heard the assault, and the effect on them, eg bedwetting.

Good luck.

Oh sounds like I've done it wrong already to be honest I don't care about the past just the future!
I've got the Lucy Reed book coming too.

the advice you've had so far is good advice. any evidence which is to be submitted has to be done so with the permissio of the judge anyway so you would need to ask for permission at the first hearing if you still think it's relevant.

So you know before the first hearing you have to submit the statement to cafcass and send the Exp a copy, what do I actually need to submit?
I have lots of text message and email evidence you see. How would I ask permission?

It IS really hard to just focus on what's 'important' and think clearly. It's such a stressful time! Can I ask why you've chosen to represent yourself?

Snoopy- as I just can't afford any representation and its such a awful situation something has had to be done. This was the last resort the threats and nonsense have been going on over a year now

What about Legal Aid?

Snoopy, Legal Aid/Public Funding is now only available in DV cases. Everyone else has to pay privately or self rep.