Is this harassment and can I get it stopped?

[HopingItllBeOK]

Brief background: ex was violent and abusive, had minimal interest in the DC when living with them. We fled 9 years ago. Contact has been sparse since, averaging once a year by ex's request. A case for contact has been going through the court for a year now and is likely to continue for at least another year. DC are uninterested in seeing or speaking to their father after giving him multiple chances and being let down, but (grudgingly) agreed to phone contact and occasional visits to maintain some sort of relationship for the future. All my communication with my ex is done via text message due to past abuse over the phone.

In the past couple of months I have been inundated with letters from ex's solicitors, 9 in 2.5 months, about petty, minor issues or making false allegations. It has reached the point that every other time the DC talk to their father, he tells them he is going to his solicitor to make me do XYZ that he has demanded the previous week and been told no. If there hasn't been an unreasonable demand to complain about, I am getting letters that flat out invent things such as ex not ringing at the appointed time for contact then claiming I cancelled the call, or swore at him and hung up before he could speak to the DC. I can prove that the allegations are rubbish as my call log shows no attempts made so I'm not concerned at the threat of being taken to court for breach of the contact order.

All this is costing me a fortune in solicitors fees for receiving and replying to the letters, although this is preferable to the panic I used to feel every time there was a white envelope in with the post, in case it was another letter full of crap I had to deal with. To date, none of the letters which were about contact were actually true or necessary and the others were not at all something that would require going through a solicitor, so I have had 9 letters in 10 weeks, comprising some 250 lines between them for no good reason at all. All were designed to bully me into agreeing to something ex wanted or to generally upset or worry me.

Is there any way I can stop all the letters, would this count as harassment enough for a non-mol order given that I do not see ex in person due to distance, so it is only text or letters or messages he passes through the DC so I am not in any urgent physical danger?

I'm not sure on the non mol order but from speaking to a solicitor myself (ex resurfaced after 13 years and the only contact he has had with my DT1 ended in him calling her a spoilt bitch) I've been advised to keep a record of any texts, correspondence and such as evidence. Could your DC write down how he is harassing them (or is he harassing them them to get to you - still get it documented.

I'm awaiting a sol letter for court ordered contact and I am also shitting it.

OP is your ex on legal aid? otherwise he is spending a lot of money on this.... if you are spending money on solicitors what do they say about it? I know you will want to keep costs down but you are not obliged to reply to any of them.. especially if you are not concerned about having to go back to court.
I agree with taking keep a log of everything and if it continues you can take it back to court for a variation of the order - contact has to be a positive expereince or the DC, if it is being used as a channel for abuse to anyone then it is not positive.
If via solicitors he was been told he must not contact you directly then he must not.
taking I hope your letter doesn't come. From my little expereince of it - your phone interview with cafcass (done before the first hearing) should tell them enough for the schedule 2 report to go against him to start with and as your DT are 13 they get a big say and it would end up indirect contact at the most- but a horrible road to have to go down and expence if you have to have a sol.

I have a gigantic file in which I have kept everything relevant to the case, from solicitors letters I sent years back offering contact to print outs of screen caps of abusive texts. I'm trying to keep the DC out of all this as much as possible so am hesitant to get them to write anything down as that makes the whole thing seem more real and serious to them iyswim? If that is the only way to get it to stop, then I will as it is the lesser of two evils really.

Yes my ex is on legal aid. Quite frankly he wouldn't bother if he had to pay anything himself. Ex hasn't been told formally not to contact me, I have informed him myself that I will no longer speak to him on the phone after constant abuse that the DC were hearing, but I do text him if there is anything he needs to know and he is free to do the same.

I'm speaking to my solicitor tomorrow about the latest two letters, since they arrived so close together I hadn't had the chance to compose a reply to one before the next landed. I just wasn't sure if there is anything that can be done, so didn't want to waste his time and my money on discussing something that can't be sorted out. I have checked my file-o-matic and last month I had a letter every Monday for the whole month. I have in the past ignored letters which didn't need a reply, especially if doing so would just provoke yet another response but if I don't respond now, I get another letter the next week reiterating the first one and noting again my lack of reply/refusal to engage/obstructive behaviour by refusing to disclose my bank account details.

I'm worried that ignoring the obviously ridiculous letters, like the bank account one, will be used against me in the next hearing as 'evidence' of my obstructiveness. I'm also throughly sick of having to deal with it all. The DC are old enough and Gilick competent that their wishes should be considered, but as yet their opinion hasn't been sought despite my pushing Cafcass for a section 7 report. They don't actually want to see ex. Ironically, it is me encouraging them to do so to keep the lines of communication open should they want to know him in the future.

Thank you both for your replies. I'll add this to the list for my poor solicitor tomorrow.

Hoping I hope you don't mind but I've just sent you a PM.

Better I know from his parents he's apparently been to see one so now it's just a waiting game. My heart skips a beat every time post comes through the door.

Hoping I thought as much with the legal aid... so glad it has been stopped so people can't use it as a weapon against an ex partner and cause financial abuse. I'm in the same boat ex on legal aid and I pay as I support my DS financially as well as emotionally, my ex never has.
I hope your sol has some answers for you - I wouldn't worry too much about the next hearing and just say.. `I can't afford to reply to a letter a week'.
You can only do so much. Is there a date for the next hearing? is it a review to see how the indirect contact is going? if so just be very honest it is all you can do as horrible as all this is, please try and stay strong. I am having a nightmare too - feel free to PM me any time.

taking it is just so unfair that he has the right to do this after all these years but as least legal aid is over and he will soon be given written terms and an indication of cost which will be £5k + he may back off? he would have to attend court near you all the time too, do you think he would keep coming over?

taking I never mind a PM, it makes me feel popular The recent site changes mean I can't get to my inbox on the iPad now though, so I'm afraid I won't see it until I can get on on my phone.

better the next hearing isnt for a couple of months yet. It is a review, but we have moved past indirect contact now and the next one is about overnights. Much as I feel angry that I think my ex is using the legal aid system to further abuse me, I just can't bring myself to be thankful that legal aid is being eroded. While my ex is probably the poster child for the revocation of legal aid, my dealings with all the people I have met in the 9 years since leaving him lead me to believe that he is very much in the minority. I would rather have the legal aid system for all who need it and let my ex show himself for what he is and have him labelled a vexatious litigant and banned from bringing further cases, than have those who desperately need it have it stolen out from under them. I realise that I am in the privileged position of being able to afford good legal advice through cutting back in the hopefully short term rather than being on the breadline because of legal fees and the sole cost of raising the DC and a drawn out case sending me under though, so it is easier for me to take the tree hugging liberal approach than it would be for most.

I'm sorry that your ex is also a twat and making life hard for you and your DC.