Emergency Injunction

[Noregrets78]

I'm having a total 'mare, and could really do with some opinions! Currently mid-divorce, and have reached stalemate in terms of the number of nights DD spends with him and me. Basically he wants the lion's share as he's unemployed, but I still regard myself as the prime carer.

We're currently still living under the same roof, although he has agreed to move to our static caravan, 2 miles away. We agreed he wouldn't move until we'd sorted the split of time, to minimise rows over her.

He goes to sleep at the caravan a few nights a week, on his own. Today while I was at work, he phoned me to say that him and DD were moving to the caravan when he picked her up from school.

I called my solicitor, who said that I should prevent that from happening, as the 'status quo' counts for a lot. So I left work, picked her up early, and am currently wasting time at a soft play area.

My solicitor has said that I need to get him to agree that she remains resident in the matrimonial home until we have agreed things. If he does not, then we will apply for an emergency injunction in the morning.

He is absolutely boiling, with a history of aggression, shouting in my face, throwing things. I'm dreading going home, and am going to drop off DD with a neighbour while we talk. That will infuriate him more. I need to be prepared to call the police if he kicks off, which I have never done before.

What is an emergency injunction - will I have to appear in court? What's the process? Don't know what to do for the best really - this will continue until we have it sorted, with him picking her up from school every day. My choice to work does not mean I have any less rights as a parent, although sometimes it feels like it. :-(

An emergency injunction would protect you from physical assault, threats and harrassment.

What I think your solicitor may have meant is an application for an emergency residence order, which would regulate who your child lives with on an interim basis until the court has had time to consider both sides' points of view. The emergency residence order would also cover contact arrangments.

I would add that if he becomes aggressive and threatening ask him to leave andif he doesn't, call the police. it willalso be evidence of his behavior for future court dates

Thanks all. I think the emergency residence order is exactly what my solicitor is talking about. Thank god I knew he'd kick off, and I dropped DD next door. 'D'H was really screaming, and said he was going next door to pick her up. I followed him out and he was screaming right in my face in the street. i'm sure he would have hit me if we hadn't been in public. He said if I called the police it would be the last thing I ever did. I called them, and he grabbed the phone out of my hand really roughly and it fell to bits. He was screaming at my neighbour who was looking after DD, leaning out of an upstairs window, and I phoned the police again on my mobile. Turns out the landline was still connected for a while so they have a recording of an argument.

Sorry it's ended up long. The police arrived, and said basically he could go to the caravan or to prison for the night, so he's gone. He's coming back tomorrow to try to sort things out and I'm dreading it. At least he knows now I mean it when I say I'll call the police if I feel threatened.

DD is completely shaken up, saw a lot of it, and is asleep in my bed upstairs. He's saying I'm twisting his words - when he said 'we're moving to the caravan' he only meant for 3 nights, not forever. That there's not much difference between 'moving' and 'staying'. Erm they're completely different. I'm glad I've done what I have, but he has said things will now escalate and I'm trying not to be in fear of his threats.

I think I've answered the question myself - yes I do need that emergency order tomorrow.

tbh I think you need both orders. And the police should charge him and bail him (with conditions not to pester you) if he kicks off again so make sure you phone them immediately if he is at all aggressive or threatening.

I agree that you should also be applying for a non-molestation and occupation order too.

I would note down every incident with dates and times as well, since you may need this in the future. Take care.

Thanks all. He has since phoned me up and had a rant - he's not shaken up at all by the police incident, says he'll never forgive me, and that I've escalated things and whatever happens now is my own fault.

I've managed to put him off coming back early morning (hopefully) and instead asked him to come after I've taken DD to school. I've bolted the doors as best I can but I doubt I'll have a great night's sleep.

I've written a long email to my solicitor outlining everything that has happened, and asking for her thoughts on non-molestation and occupation order too.

Your soon to be ex sounds like a dangerous nutcase. Well done for staying strong, and for calling his bluff.

Please call the police and report what he has said to you - make sure it is added to the notes on your case.

Good luck with the court stuff in the morning.

Thank you I feel I'm going mad sometimes and making mountains out of molehills. The worst thing he did to his ex-wife was when he locked the doors while his two girls were inside, and started sprinkling from a petrol can saying that he was going to burn down the house. His ex managed to get the girls out, police called, turned out to be water. It's too long ago for it to be used for anything now, but it does mean that I'll take no chances.

It really isn't "too long ago". Make sure your solicitor is aware of it. It's extremely relevant.

Good luck!

How did it go today?

went really well today. My solicitor doesn't think I have enough to go on - that if I got an emergency residency order there's a risk he'd have enough wriggle room to have it over turned.

So I opted for talking instead - he's agreed to 3 nights a week which was what I'd originally suggested, and has moved to the caravan on that basis. I even helped him move! DD is really chuffed that things are sorted, and will stay there tomorrow night for one night as that would have been her final night with him anyway. I'm hoping this will work out as I've managed to convince him that I'm not against him seeing her, or having her overnight.

I can't entirely relax as I don't trust him as far as I can throw him; but things are as good as I could have hoped for. Looking forward to a good sleep without jumping every time I hear a noise. x