court experience for shared residence - and what's relevant pls??

[anxious80]

My ex has put in court order for 50:50 shared residence of our son. I'm v concerned. He currently has good access - every other w/e and 25 hours the other week.

He is slinging such disgusting outrageous lies at me about my having had pnd and anxiety (which stems from him and the v abusive relationship and its demise). He's been violent but due to lack of previous ( i.e.. me not logging when we were together etc) he got away with it. Has ongoing harassment warning tho (which he has broken many times). He also has bi-polar but when my solicitor asked for med report it came back painting him as fine as he took his mother, she did all talking and they r prime manipulators :-/

I have ignored all his texts and many many calls but stupidly answered one the other day and it's made me v concerned and v v anxious. He has threatened that he records conversations. He said he doesn't want to go to court and if i agree to 'shared care' through mediation then he'll stop order. We went to one mediation session but he left when he didn't get what he wanted. I offered the contact that now stands on the alternate week. We had previously 1-2 ad hoc months of my son toing and froing between us while my ex moved out and then in month he got new place. My son was v disrupted and unsettled. & despite my ex's and his family's emotional impact on my son (a whole other story)my son is far more settled with this current arrangement that has been status quo for nearly 5 months.

I'm sure my ex really has no intention of halting court - i think he's always wanted to take me to court and put me thro most stress he can (backed up by a disgusting abusive text about using 'recordings' of me in court) - and he knows my temperament, that i'm a worrier, have anxiety etc etc. Anyway i stupidly got embroiled in a conversation. He called me a liar and I was so outraged & I referred to his court statement & said ''you said you've never been violent towards me" ?...there was silence so I repeated in a questioning tone " you've never been violent towards me (his name)?" in a questioning, sarcastic tone - so he would reply. The line went dead and my friend got really upset as she had heard whole conversation & was so concerned he would edit and doctor this and use against me..... is this possible?? surely i can ask for more of the conversation / it's proper context etc etc ?? I have witness also to whole conversation.

Or maybe this won't even be taken into consideration as it's over child contact?

Any advice much appreciated - he is out to get me, it's all about retaliation and is so unbelievably stressful. Thanks.

I think the court would ask how he is proposing 50/50 works and once they know that they will ask you both why you do or do not see that as in the bests interest of the child.

So I would forget his she said/he said and recordings of conversations and put together a few pars of why you think contact is best for your DS as it is... or if you feel contact should be something else entirley for your reasons - and if you feel it is and if you feel a court would agree you can relax.
To be honest it sounds as if something set in stone would be good for you, you know where you stand and there can be no more threats from your ex.
You don't have to keep taking his calls, if he is looking to change arrangements and you are not happy with them then he needs to take things forward. Mediation would come first and a report from that can be used in court so please make sure you have your thoughts, well thought through before that. he you remain clam and child focussed and your ex just slings mud at you it will not go well for him and vice versa.

From what you've posted it sounds like he is trying to bully you. Is he representing himself or does he have a solicitor.

And what does application for?

He is mistaken if he thinks a Shared Residence Order equates to an equal division of time with Mother and Father. When I hear stories such as yours it usually means Dad wants to get at Mum and is making the point he is an `equal parent'.

Residence status has no bearing on time. It is possible for there to be a Residence Order in place when the division is something like 20:80. By contrast it is quite possible for time to be divided 50:50 and there to be no order made with respect to residence.

If he's taking you to court he should have proposed mediation first. Did he do this? Courts take a very dim view of parents who try to use it as a weapon against each other. Court should always be the last resort.

If he is simply applying for a Shared Residence Order he will have to demonstrate to the court that one is in your ds' best interests - will have to demonstrate why it is better to make this order than not. Furthermore I have experience of seeing a poor application by a father for a Shared Residence Order turned into a Residence Order for Mother, particularly if he is making the applications merely in an attempt to intimidate and bully.