Dementia - some legal questions/help please

[willyhaschips]

Hello,
my mother has cohabited (in her house) with a legally separated man for 18 years.
He has vascular dementia (last two years) and mum is very worried about what will happen when he needs more care than she can give him. He is 84, she is 74.
His former marital home has not been sold and is lived in by his wife and her carer (his daughter).
My mother has EPA over his affairs but has not needed to use it yet.
She is very anxious and concerned about various matters such as what will happen if he has to go into a care home. How will this be funded? (mum owns her own house but he has no financial interest in it)
She is worried that because she is not his next of kin/wife she will have no say in what happens to him. He is pretty estranged from his only family (one son, one daughter).
Will she be able to take care of his funeral arrangements when he (eventually) dies?
This is extra stress that she can do without having as looking after him on a daily basis is already pretty hard going for her without the worry about the future.
Can anyone offer any advice please?

Would he still have capacity to make a Lasting Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare Issues? If so, I'd suggest that's the best thing to do. If he's lost capacity then she'd have to apply to the Office of the Public Guardian for an order giving her the same rights as under an LPA. Depending on the wording of the Enduring Power of Attorney she already has, this may not be necessary, however.

She should take the EPA to a solicitor specialising in private client (elderly client) work and ask them to advise.

just bumping this for you as I came on for some advice on a similar topic (will go and start my own thread though!)

I wouldn't be so certain that he doesn't have a financial interest in your mother's house if he has been living there for 18 years - it could be more complicated than it seems.

I second mumblechum's advice if at all possible, to seek advice from a specialist solicitor, to protect everyone's best interests.