XH has changed his mind about settlement - so confused right now

[Bouncingbeans]

I have been trawling through various sites and just cannot seem to find an answer to this so would be really grateful if anyone can share their knowledge on this?

He left me years ago and since that time has made many promises about finances, constantly changing his mind and being generally very unreliable.

We have no money at all to speak of apart from around £50k equity in the house, we agreed between ourselves (I have an email to confirm) after a lot of conversations that I would stay in property until youngest is 18, then we would split equity 50/50. He pays minimum maintenance, and nothing towards the mortgage but arrangement suits me as I will never get another mortgage in my name so it means the children still live in family home, close to school and friends etc.

He has now split from the woman he left me for and is renting a flat in not a very nice area, so he now wants me to sell the house 5 years ahead of when we had planned and agreed, as he wants his money now. I cant afford to go to court over this.

My problem is that if I sell, I honestly dont know where we will live as I have a bad credit rating so noone will touch me with a bargepole! I have no friends or family that I could impose on either.

Does he have the right to force me to sell now, because his circumstances have changed? He is insisting he does, and is coming around tomorrow with an estate agent and I am so worried, just dont know what to do. He says it was only ever a goodwill gesture, and I cannot force him to stay on mortgage if I cannot buy him out (which I cant). I will try and get help on Monday but if anyone can help me in the meantime, that would be so great. Thank you

I think your email thread will probably be enough to stop him surely! Not in any way a legal expert mind...

Don't worry about embarrassing the estate agent if he still shows up in the morning. Just tell him the house isn't available for sale until certain legal points have been sorted. No need to mention that may not be for at least five years

Thank you, I hope so! I have a feeling the estate agent tomorrow might be an empty threat but he is so good at manipulating situations and making me feel like I am the bad person that I lose all sense of perspective when talking to him and cant string a sentence together.

If you're really frightened you might be hassled into agreeing, you could arrange to be out tomorrow. Has he got keys?

Remember that he does not have superpowers and is not above the law. So what he says, and what he wants, is basically irrelevant bullshit. Send him an email or a text along the lines of 'I am consulting a solicitor and will not be signing or agreeing anything until I have had legal advice.' Then consult a solicitor on Monday morning and ignore any texts or phonecalls from this man in the meantime. He is not your boss or your owner, you do not have to obey him, and the fact that he has been dumped by his GF is not your problem either ethically or legally.

The finances need to sorted out legally sooner or later and it can be a false economy not seeing a solicitor to find out where you stand. For example many people don't realise there are Capital Gains Tax implications if the former matrimonial home isn't transferred three years after separation. Having said that with property prices as they are there may well be no capital gain on which to pay tax. If the property is held in your ex-husband's name you need to register your rights to live there with the Land Registry so the house cannot be sold until the finances have been sorted out.

When it comes to sharing assets dependent children are the priority and your ex may need to stay on the mortgage and keep renting if that is the only way to keep an adequate roof over their heads.