Looking for some advice if anyone can help.....my partner is representing himself so have no solicitor to ask.
My other half has been going thru court for contact and only had 3 direction hearings, the last one being brought forward as his ex continued to not comply handing the children over etc.
At the last direction hearing, the district judge ordered a final hearing with updating statements filed at same time etc.
His ex has been very hostile to contact, basically using the children as her way of getting back at him for ending their very on off relationship.
When we submitted the statement we included exhibits of text messages etc to show how hostile she is, some of her texts for example say I'm gonna do everything I can so u never see my daughter again another said ill make sure you can only see daughter 1 hour every other week at a contact centre and when son is born ill breast feed so you can't even see him. It goes on and on.
We made sure it wasn't seen as slagging her off and we used the exhibits to highlight the struggle he's had to get contact etc.
All my partner was requesting was very reasonable every other weekend and something weekly plus obv holidays, alternate Xmas and birthdays etc.
Ok so this is where I need some help/advice
The final hearing was in December. When we got to court her barrister approached my partner and said that his ex didn't want to go in to court and throw evidence at each other but wanted to agree things between themselves.
The barrister gave him the ex's proposals for him to consider and tweak if needs be. Her proposals were just for future contact gradually building up to overnight stay and alternate Xmas.
Her proposals wernt far off what my partner was wanting so he tweaked them slightly and added extra overnight as he eventually wants the kids fri-sun and she was offering sat-sun.
He gave the barrister he amendments and she went back to her client to get her response.
Barrister confirmed that she agreed and also offered weekly contact 2 afternoons. (My partner works nights so afternoons is all he can do weekly) and she started to write the draft order coming between us and her client to agree dates for the contact to increase.
My partner mentioned to the barrister that holidays and the kids birthdays would need to be discussed and she said there would be another hearing for those things.
The barrister then rushed in to the room we were waiting in to say the magistrates were gettin annoyed with waiting and they had to go in to court straight away, not giving my partner time to read the order first! (She also did this at another directions hearing using a similar reason to return to court quickly)
When he was in court there were things included on the draft order that hadn't been discussed at all and also things missing completely like the extra overnight he added, plus she changed the weekly contact to just term time only which wasn't agreed.
He didn't really have chance to discuss these things in court, one magistrate (the main was) was discussing things with someone training and the barrister kept things moving quickly, my partner did mention holidays in there and the barrister told him he was getting ahead of himself and needed to get contact established first, which he thought sounded right as there would be another hearing like she had told us.
After getting the formal order in the post it was clear that there are no more hearings which we believe the barrister actually knew as she wrote at the bottom that line confirming that both parties can agree other contact etc.
We now have an order that has stages of contact increasing till June when overnights start then nothing else and no more hearings so my partner now has to rely on his ex to allow holidays, further overnights and arrangements for the kids birthdays and knowing how she didn't allow contact for over 2 years ( he had to send their presents by courier) and when she did allow contact on the odd occasion she would changed plans last min etc so do not have much faith that she will agree to anything extra and stick to it.
What can we do if anything????
We wrote to court telling them all of this exactly what happened with the barrister and we asked for one last hearing to deal with all the other things around june time as we felt due to the history of this case with her not complying all the way through court and not allowing contact for so long that contact needed to be listed in an official order for the childrens benefit to ensure contact continues and if it doesnt to be able to return to court to enforce it, court responded saying there is no need for any more hearings and contact has to now be agreed by the parties....
So we think the only option we have is to email the ex and directly ask for these things and if she agrees hope she sticks to it.
What if she doesn't agree - do we then need to apply to court again to vary it, paying more money??
What if she agrees but then doesn't stick to it but continues to stick to the official order she won't be breaching it so it can't be enforced.
She is also very argumentative you only have to say one thing taken the wrong way and then he's told your not seeing them etc etc, she's been arrested a few times for violence and is just generally not the nicest of people.
It really feels like we've been let down by the system and now back to square one again!
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice please???
Thank you. And sorry it's long :)