Need advice re: Fathers name on birth certificate and making a will

[loveulotslikejellytots]

Posting on behalf of my Sister. She is due in June and is getting confused about a couple of things.

Her and the baby's Father weren't really together when she got pregnant and they certainly aren't now. He is useless not interested in her or the baby. He has swung between saying he'll support her to not wanting anything to do with her. He has made it clear that he wanted her to have a termination but she couldn't go through with it.

She is now going ahead with the pregnancy and knows she will be a single parent. Her Ex's Mum has been really good. She has been there for emotional support (considering she didn't know my Sister 6 months ago) and has also offered to buy baby's cot. So she very obviously wants to be an active part of their lives even if her Son doesn't want to be.

Here is her question: What problems does not putting his name on the BC as the Father cause? She knows he is the Father but right now (in her angry state) doesn't want him on it. And he wont argue to get his name on it IYSWIM.

Also: If his name was on the BC, and she were to die would he automatically get the baby. She would prefer for someone else to have the baby, and wouldn't want them to go straight to her Ex or his Mum necessarily. If his name wasn't on the BC would the baby go to her next of kin?

Does she need to make a will?

A lot of this is hypothetical sorry. But neither of us have a clue. If anyone has a good website they would recommend for advice i'll pass it on. CAB were a bit vague.

Thanks.

If his name isn't on the birth certificate then at the moment, he doesn't have parental responsibility. Therefore she should appoint a guardian in her will.

She needs to be aware, however, that if she died before her daughter is 18, her ex could always make an application for residence. The court would make whatever order it felt was in the best interests of the child, so isn't bound by the guardianship appointment however the fact that a guardian had been appointed would have to be taken into consideration by the court.

If the father had had little or no contact then, in my view (25 years experience as a family and wills lawyer), the court would be likely not to interefere with the guardianship appointment so long as the guardian was willing and able to care for the child.

I have a paid for advert over on Classified Small Business section of MN titled "5* Will Writing Service Recommended by Mumsnetters" if you/your sister need any more info.

Thanks for your reply. I'll take a look at the advert.

So she really needs to do a will by the sounds of it. Does not putting his name in the BC cause any problems? Is it illegal if you know who the father is. Does he have to go with her to do it because I know he won't anyway.

It isn't illegal and, in order to have his name on the birth certificate, he would need to attend the registration appointment with her as they are not married. Your sister will probably have an idea of how willing or likely he is to do that. His lack of involvement could well end up deciding the matter for her.

I understood that if you are not married, then if the father wants his name on the BC he must also attend in person. Given that he won't do that then there will be no official record of him on the BC. I understand its not compulsory to have a fathers name on the BC.

Agree that she probably needs to make some official will type of provision on what happens if something terrible was to happen to her. If its done properly then the chances are if the worst did happen that its a strong enough document with a strong enough case on why the child should be looked after by her chosen representative.

Lalalonglegs has it spot on

Just to reassure you, my dd does not have any father named on her birth certificate and it has not caused her any problems whatsoever.

DS doesn't have a father named on his bc either and no problems here. In fact it makes life easier: PR is automatically given if the father's on the bc, meaning he'd be entitled to have a say in things like school choice, religion, whether the child can travel abroad or move away from the area. Men often use this power manipulatively to continue disrupting their ex's lives.

Remind your sister that she can still get maintenance through CSA even if he's not on the bc.

Thanks for the replies. I think it was the parental rights part she was worried about honey. He has already made it very clear that he doesn't want her or the baby in his life, she doesn't see why he should be named on the baby's BC when all he actually did was help create the baby! And like someone said (sorry I'm on my phone I can't remember who it was) as its unlikely he'll register the birth with her anyway and they're not married he will make that decision for her.

What would happen for example if he wasn't named on the BC but wanted access to the child in the future?

He could very easily apply for PR (Parental Responsiblity) which would make him equal in his responsibilities to the child.

What is concerning though is your statement.... ' all he actually did was help create the baby!'

Congratualtions on yer I phone

What's concerning about that statement? They're his words! He's told my Sister that he wants nothing to do with 'it' all he wanted was a shag.

Sorry if i've got the wrong end of the stick but what's my phone got to do with this?