Questions about proposed divorce settlement.

[HarrietHobbit]

I've name changed for this as I am a poster whose story of domestic abuse would out me easily when describing my financial position.

It is a month to my second financial hearing and barristers are being used (his choice). I had a meeting with my barrister and solicitor last week and I am incredibly unhappy with their proposals having thought it all over in the past few days. Neither see any alternative but I am mystified by "what the court would accept".

I will try and put the situation in a nutshell. Married/cohabiting for 27 years. 3 children, only one dependant now and still at school intending to go to Uni like the other two. I used to work in family business in which I own a few shares and helped set up. I am now working part time and earning a pittance. getting tax credits etc. The OW has a nice job in this business and a car out of it!

The 3 assets are house, separate land and the business. My lawyers want me to keep the house (which has a mortgage) let stbx have the land and obtain me a reasonable lifetime maintenance out of which I have to finish paying off mortgage. Oh and him have 2 pensions and me the other 2, not worth much.

I am very unhappy about this mainly because I dont want to retain ties to this abusive man. I accept I need to have maintenance but I can envisage him forever going back to court to try and change it. I cannot emphasise enough his vindictive hatred of me. How often can he do this?

The land is on paper worth less but potentially it is worth a lot more than the house. I know that stbx would immediately start a business on it with his gf. At the very least he could rent it out immediately and obtain a decent monthly rental.

The lawyers agreed we should go back (on his retiremen)t when he sells his 1/2 share in the business to get my half of his half. So that is a definite return to legal battle in the not too distant future.

I am told by my solicitor that I need to secure my financial future and this is the best way of going about it. However the way I see it is I end up with a house (in need of repair) and mortgage which he will probably have to stay "on" whilst he keeps the business and a very valuable income generating asset for himself and then no doubt will come up with some excuse to cut my maintenance.

Sorry to write such a long and boring post but i am at the end of my tether. I feel that no one is listening to me, that the law is an ass and that I am being completely shafted and will be for years to come.

Any suggestions as to a better way of doing this?

What do you think/want? Could the land be sold to pay off the mortgage? I personally would say get assets now as I have seen so many posts about self employed ex's resenting paying maintenance & doing their level best to pay the bare minimum.

You had a lengthy meeting with your legal team and a large amount if paperwork. You can't expect to get anything useful from anonymous posters who have read a few short paragraphs. No one can second guess them here. Perhaps you should seek a second opinion from a more senior barrister. Where are you based? We might be able to recommend someone.

Agree really with Collaborate, if there were other options to enable you to have a clean break now, then surely they would have looked into that? Am assuming there is not enough money available to capitalise your maintenance claims?

Red Helen, yes the land could be sold to pay off the mortgage. That's what I dont understand. The mortgage could be paid off, he could then use the remaining capital towards a house and get his own mortgage for the rest. He would then have to give me less maintenance but I am told that scenario it would not be acceptable to the court.

I understand there is no possibility of a clean break. There is not enough money to capitalise the maintenance claims. I just want it to be as "clean" as it can be. This just doesnt seem clean at all to me. I feel incredibly sad and defeated that I am facing the possibility of going back to court in the future which he no doubt will do time and time again because he is an abusive twunt.

You don't have to go for maintenance if you would prefer that option of selling the land & having the house in your own right. Obviously your solicitor has to advise you but as long as you are ok with your decision then get what YOU want, it is your life after all. My solicitor told me of cases where one half said they didn't want anything, as long as the court felt sure they understood the ramifications the consent order was granted.

Thanks Helen. really appreciate that. Its not always about the money but about what you feel comfortable with isnt it? Food for thought.