Paternity test - can the mother be compelled to allow DNA test?

[BerylStreep]

Just what the title says really.

Have a friend with a young baby. Boyfriend wanted nothing to do with my friend once he found out she was pregnant. Claimed he didn't think the baby was his.

He is not on the birth certificate, has never met the baby (doesn't even know the name), but has now made contact saying he wants parental responsibility.

The guy is violent, with mh problems, and my friend wants nothing to do with him, let alone letting him access to the baby.

My question is, can she be forced to submit the baby to a paternity test?

[colditz]

But I'd definitely lie to him and tell him it's a bouncer's baby. She can't be breaking the law for that, surely? It might put him off the dna teszt.

[AThingInYourLife]

Agree with colditz

[TheEnthusiasticTroll]

I would defiantly do that too colditz

[PedanticPanda]

He could go to court and apply for paternal rights.

[prh47bridge]

Samples are taken from both parents for a DNA test to establish paternity. If the OP tried to substitute a different child it is very likely that the DNA test would show that she was not the mother of the child.

A court-directed DNA test is used where parentage is disputed and one party does not want the test carried out. It is not inevitable that the courts would order a test but they take the view that it is generally best that a child's true identity is established as soon as possible unless there are exceptional circumstances.

[TheEnthusiasticTroll]

Would this mans physiological control and conduct towards the mother be considered exceptional circumstances?

[GoldShip]

How the hell is it barbaric?

He has the right to know if he's the dad. And the baby has a right to know who his father is.

[monsterchild]

The CHILD has a right to know who his/her father is. For many many reasons. One of them is medical history.

A DNA test is a swab inside the cheek, hardly barbaric.

I'm sorry this guy is a loser, but him just claiming to be the father makes it disputed. And if he's really such a crazy person (and it sounds like SS has agreed) it seems unlikely that the court would disregard that information.

[GoldShip]

Some of the replies in here are actually shocking.

So you think she should lie about who is the baby's father? What does she say to the child when it's older?

[GoldShip]

Agree with monsterchild

[AThingInYourLife]

I think this child should have the right not to know who his father is.

The fetishisation of sperm donors under men's rights agendas is bullshit.

This man is no more a father than I am.

He's dangerous and crazy and he should have no rights here.

He made his choice when he denied paternity.

It should not be possible for a man to hold a mother to ransom by creating a "dispute" about paternity just because he feels like it.

I think it would be entirely moral to lie in this situation.

[TheEnthusiasticTroll]

Agree athing 100%

[GoldShip]

The child will not appreciate that as he/she gets older. There will be questions that will need answering.

It should not be possible for a man to hold a mother to ransom by creating a "dispute" about paternity just because he feels like it.
Lots of women do it. Is it okay then?

It's okay for a woman to force a man to find out if he's the dad, but a man can't force it?

Actually laughable the double standards on here.

[Viviennemary]

I'm a bit shocked too. Surely a man has the right to know if a child is his. It usually takes two to have a baby. But I can see why a Mother would be concerned if the Father is a villain.

[CailinDana]

This sounds to me like the abuser's classic empty threat. I would bet a large amount of money that he won't pursue it. Abusers always use children to get at women because they know it's their weak point. If he sees your friend is scared this will give him the satisfaction he needs so she needs to treat this like the pathetic attempt at bullshittery that it is.

It might be worth her going to a solicitor and getting a letter that says if he does pursue a DNA test and is proven to be the father then he will be liable for X amount of child support every week, thank you very much. See how long he pursues it then.

All contact should be through solicitor's letter - no phone calls, texts or any personal communication to feed his sick desire to upset her.

[Collaborate]

The mother should tell the truth and accept the child is his. If she disputes it, the court will order a DNA test and she will be found out. If she refuses to submit to testing the judge will assume that he is the father. End of.

[GoldShip]

And what about if the child gets older and more expensive, the woman wants money and goes to the CSA. is that okay then?

[GoldShip]

t might be worth her going to a solicitor and getting a letter that says if he does pursue a DNA test and is proven to be the father then he will be liable for X amount of child support every week, thank you very much. See how long he pursues it then.

Good suggestion.

[BerylStreep]

Cailin, there has been no communication whatsoever since before the baby was born. He made written threats to set fire to her and her house and her unborn baby, and as a result there has been a court order in place preventing any contact.

I think this is why he is trying to assert parental rights - to harass her through the legal route.

[CailinDana]

The friend knows he's the father, and can tell the child that as and when it's appropriate. There was no mention of her not telling the child, although I could see why she might not want to. SS have said he is not to have contact, and there is no question, so far, of child support, so it seems to me that the friend keeping the ex at arm's length is the completely sensible thing to do.

He knows he's the father too, of course. He just denied it when it suited him and has now changed his mind when he sees an opportunity to get some sick satisfaction out of seeing his ex squirm. This does not read to me as some poor loving father done out of a relationship with his baby - it seems like a clear cut case of a violent shit trying to manipulate someone because he's bored.

[CailinDana]

X-post Beryl, I suspected as much. Your poor friend :(

[GoldShip]

What he's doing is absolutely disgusting, but still don't think she should deny him as the father.

I think she would have a strong case for him not seeing the child anyway if the threats and everything are true.

If he's as bad as you say, he won't follow through with the courts anway

[GoldShip]

There was no mention of her not telling the child

I was referring to the poster who said 'tell him the child's a bouncers not his'

[BerylStreep]

Goldship, I don't know - I think he may well be mad enough to pursue it for the hell of it, especially if it is being funded by legal aid.

[CailinDana]

The thing is Goldship I would be very reluctant to give him an inch. Admitting he's the father will then give him a way in - he'll start banging on about contact etc just to keep a grip over the friend. If he has to deal with all the legal shit of proving paternity, without any satisfaction from the friend, then he might hopefully get bored and move on to some other poor victim.

Beryl in your friend's shoes I would consider moving and hiding. He sounds like a complete nutcase.