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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

diy living will - can we get him to sign it?

29 replies

Ladyemem · 14/09/2012 21:52

my father in law is 85 and lives in a care home. He doesnt have a will.
He would like to leave everything to his son (my husband)
If we go through paperwork with him, can we get him to sign a diy living will.
We dont want to go via solicitors as they may say he is not capable of making these decisions. What should we do? My husband doesnt have any siblings. His sister died 5 years ago and has 2 children. If he dies intestate wont the granchildren be entitled to a share.

OP posts:

Shakey1500 · 14/09/2012 21:56

Who has he stated to that he wants to leave everything to his son? If he has stated it, then he can state it to a solicitor? I've no advice about diy living wills I'm afraid. Or the legalities/non legalities etc. But surely it's better to go via a solicitor I would have thought?

Original poster

Ladyemem · 14/09/2012 22:19

well only to me and my husband over a year ago. He has no other immediate family. His wife, sister and daughter have already passed away. My husband already has power of attourney so he can arrange payment of his care etc Father in law not capable of asking questions to a solicitor and if a solicitor asked him who he would like to leave everything to he would either say his sons name, point and say him or dont know! so what will happen if he has no will ?

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadows · 14/09/2012 22:22

So, in short, you want to make an 85 year old who is in a care home, and is incapable of communicating any wishes to a solicitor, sign a will that you prepare in order to ensure that your husband gets everything in order to prevent his other grandchildren from getting anything?

Lougle · 14/09/2012 22:23

"can we get him to sign a diy living will.
We dont want to go via solicitors as they may say he is not capable of making these decisions."

You aren't coming across well on this thread, tbh. It sounds as if you are trying to make sure your DFiL signs everything over to your DH, rather than it being his desire.

If your DFiL is of sound mind, then a solicitor will process the will. I would think that if you are worried a solicitor may see things differently, then there could be good reason. It is immoral to encourage the writing of a will if your DFiL is not competent to make the decision.

Sirzy · 14/09/2012 22:27

If your fil is in a state where you dont think a solicitor would do a proper will then I doubt anything you made him sign would be legal, certainly not if ten granddaughters (understandbly) fought it

Lougle · 14/09/2012 22:28

If he has no will, then when he dies, your DH will get half of his estate, and his two nieces/nephews will each receive ¼ of the estate.

Shakey1500 · 14/09/2012 22:30

Yes, Quintessental put it so much better than I.

MSAer · 14/09/2012 22:31

Why shouldn't his other grandchildren inherit when he dies? Surely if their mother was still alive, any inheritance would be split two ways?

Original poster

Ladyemem · 14/09/2012 22:33

Hi quintes. Basically yes. His other grandchildren are in their mid to late 20's and havent seen him for past 5 years They only live 30 miles away .Doesnt seem fair that they may inherit and his other grandchildren (my young kids) get nothing.

OP posts:

procrastinor · 14/09/2012 22:36

Ok. I'm going to try and believe that you've actually got his best interests at heart. No you cannot get him to sign a DIY living will. If you are concerned that doctors will try and keep him alive against his wishes, you as his family will be consulted with about treatments plans and your thoughts will be taken in to consideration.

I say that but if you phrase things as you do in your OP I think they'd be tempted to appoint an independent advocate. Because certainly the way you've written that it sounds pretty grasping. I'd be worried that you're out to let him die early in order for you guys to get the cash.

If he is unable to convey his wishes to a solicitor the time for writing a will has passed. Any DIY will that you draw up would be be looked upon pretty doubtfully if anyone were to raise an issue.

Lougle · 14/09/2012 22:38

"Doesnt seem fair that they may inherit and his other grandchildren (my young kids) get nothing"

Your young kids will benefit from your DH's inheritance, and if he so wishes, he can pass it all straight to them.

The grandchildren have already lost their mother, and now you want to rob them of their inheritance.

I bet you're a real asset to the family

procrastinor · 14/09/2012 22:39

Nope I take it all back. You don't have his best interests at heart all. You only have your best interests at heart. Jesus woman look beyond your own nose and start thinking about what you can do to ensure his years left are filled with comfort and peace. Not how you can force an elderly man to do your bidding.

QuintessentialShadows · 14/09/2012 22:39

You need to speak to a solicitor and find out what the law is, if the grandchildren can still inherit their mums share after their mum is dead. Your solicitor will act in your best interest, and advice you accordingly. Your solicitor cannot get a confused old man to sign a will, if he has no idea what he is signing. That would be immoral.

If you were to do a diy will, that would most likely seem very suspect, and the grandchildren contest it.

Are you sure there is no will?

However, if your dh had passed away, would you not want your children to inherit anything? Do you think your children would be upset to realize that their aunt and uncle were taking steps to ensure they got nothing?

Never mind that they are in their 20s and have no time right now for a confused old man in a home. Morally, what you are doing is wrong, and greedy.

Original poster

Ladyemem · 14/09/2012 22:40

The grandson also broke into their house and stole cash when he was 18. doesnt deserve anything

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadows · 14/09/2012 22:41

The more I think about it, the more I think what you are doing is utterly despicable.

Do you really think this old man would want his grandchildren, who has lost their mum, to inherit nothing?

I think greedy people are scum.

MSAer · 14/09/2012 22:42

"The grandson also broke into their house and stole cash when he was 18. doesnt deserve anything"

It's not really your place to decide whether or not he deserves anything.

Shakey1500 · 14/09/2012 22:42

Your chidren will "get something" though, via your DH's share. Whilst you may not like it or think it's fair it's not your, or your DH's descision to make. If your FIL had really wanted only your DH to inherit he'd have sorted out the will on his own. Perhaps he felt pressured and knew that if he didn't make one, the estate would be split fairly.

MSAer · 14/09/2012 22:42

And I agree with everything that Quint has said.

Sirzy · 14/09/2012 22:42

It's not for you to decide who does or doesn't deserve to inherit from someone else.

procrastinor · 14/09/2012 22:44

Plus I'm pretty sure anyone who is the executor of his "will" would have alarm bells ringing if presented with a will written by a man who needs a power of attorney as lacks capacity leaving everything to the person who has power of attorney. Oh and it's countersigned by the beneficiaries wife. Yes I'm sure no one will wonder what the hell you two have been up to.

Original poster

Ladyemem · 14/09/2012 22:47

ok fair comments everyone. I'm not that bad really.There will be no will. no appointments with solicitors and i will make sure his last years are full of fun laughter and special memories.

OP posts:

BrittaPerry · 14/09/2012 22:52

Do you know what a 'living will' is? Because it doesnt look like that is what you are talking about...

Original poster

Ladyemem · 14/09/2012 23:05

guess i meant last will not living

OP posts:

Lougle · 14/09/2012 23:17

I hope your last comments are sincere. I am shocked that you would take advantage of your FiL in his time of need.

GreatBallsofFluff · 14/09/2012 23:30

You would need to find independent witnesses to watch your FIL sign the Will, and if contested those witnesses could be called upon to confirm that your FIL was of sound mind and understood what he was signing.

I do hope you are sincere when saying you won't get him to sign a diy Will.

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