Divorce papers

[Joy5]

Hi
I received divorce papers a few weeks ago, and havn't returned them yet.
H left me last year, i've now found out for another woman. Hes divorcing me on unreasonable grounds.

I've decided to just sign and return the papers, his grounds are totally untrue and can be shown to be in his emails to me last year, but i refuse to spend a penny of what little money i have on proving that, or on filing my own divorce papers.

What i want to know, is how long can i leave it before returning the papers? I saw a solicitor after receiving the papers who told me theres such a backlog in the courts with people not returning divorce papers it would take months for me to be formally served with the papers by a bailiff which i obviously don't want.

Has anyone any experience of keeping the papers and delaying in returning them? It probably comes across as being really petty asking this, but myself and ds have been to hell and back the past 12 months with my H's behaviour, i've kept my dignity so far, but i'd just like to keep him wondering for a while about what i'm going to do for a change.

He could just decide to pay £100 and get a private process server to serve you, so adding to any costs he might claim from you. Most people, when they divorce, see the children and finances as being the big issues to sort out. If I were you I'd return the form to court straight away and concentrate on the other things.

No hurry, you take your time!

But - and I could be wrong here so happy to be corrected - the cost of the divorce could be yours if it's for unreasonable behaviour.

Yes, he could claim costs. He may be willing to agree not to pursue costs if the OP doesn't defend the divorce.

I'm with Collaborate - I would sign the papers straight away. You don't gain anything by delaying other than possibly increasing his costs, which may increase the likelihood of him claiming costs. As Collaborate says, the children and finances are the major issues. Concentrate on those.

As i earn £6k, and H earns £40k i don't think he can claim costs.

Not gaining anything at all from not returning the papers, apart from just a few weeks of H not knowing what i'm doing or if hes going to get his own way yet again over the divorce.

I've heard from mutual friends his gf wants to marry him which is why hes filed for divorce, but citing such untruths in his account of my unreasonable behaviour that he thinks i'm going to have no option to defend. So his gf thinks the divorce is underway, but its me causing the holdup.

But although i'm on a low income, my benefits take me over the limit for legal aid, and i'm adament i won't spend money i could spend on my 3 sons, on a divorce.

Just want a few weeks of me being in control, but not sure how long i can leave it for.

He may be able to claim costs despite the fact that he earns a lot more than you.

Thanks to every one for pointing out i might have to pay the costs, despite seeing a solicitor 2 weeks ago, she never pointed this out to me.

After checking on wikidivorce tonight, when i do return the papers my solicitor needs to put on the right bit of the forms that i don't accept the costs.

So glad i havn't returned the forms already. I really can't afford to pay the cost of filing the divorce papers.

I'm glad that the costs element has been clarified for you - how horrible.

As regards delay - if he is actively hoping you will delay, so he has an excuse not to marry this OW, your returning the paperwork immediately might be the last thing he wants, no? And my understanding (sure someone will correct me if wrong) is that it is open to you to state in the Acknowledgement of Service that you do not accept his allegations in any way, but nor do you wish to defend the divorce itself. That might make all this a bit easier to stomach, perhaps? And it won't cost any more.

I thought costs are usually split unless you were citing adultery?

The courts may order the respondent to pay the petitioner's costs unless the grounds are two years separation with both parties agreeing to the divorce. You will often find that the petitioner agrees not to pursue costs provided the divorce is not defended.

This is only the costs of the divorce itself. When it comes to disputes about children and finances it is normal for each side to bear its own costs unless one of the parties is being very unreasonable.

Agree with collaborate and prh No sense in delaying as he may well just get a process server to serve you and you will almost certainly get an order for costs.

Easy enough for you to act in person for main suit (divorce) so might be worth contacting his solicitors and saying that you will return the ack of service form on basis that he withdraws his claim for costs.

He hasn't got a solicitor, says he doesn't need one, but although i can't really afford it, i don't feel i can sign legal papers without asking the advice of a solicitor, especially the one regarding contact with out youngest son.

Which is why i saw a solicitor. Who told me it would take months for my H to appoint someone to serve me with the papers.

Don't want to leave it months, but just asked in case anyone knew how long i could leave it for before returning the papers.

It won't take months to appoint someone to serve you, it can be done in minutes, he simply needs to instruct a process server. If this happens, it is 99% certain in my opinion that you will be ordered to pay the divorce costs.

As other posters have said, the main suit (divorce) is nothing to do with children issues, they are separate matters as is ancillary relief (finances).

I'm afraid you may find that you may be served personally at any time which will only cause more upset/embarrassment depending on where you were and will increase the costs which ultimately you may be liable for.

There is no reason you cannot ask him to withdraw his claim for costs and if he does, you can write this on the acknowlegement of service form.