Access and PR court case, what should I expect?

[PiousPrat]

I have had a letter from my local court notifying me of an application made by my DC's father for contact and PR. The discovery hearing is in 4 weeks and as far as I can make out, will consist of both sides briefly stating their case then the judge determining what statements, reports and forms need to filed and the like. Is that about it? Will it also be to determine if there is a case to answer, so there is a chance it might now proceed beyond the discovery hearing stage?

Is it necessary or advisable to have legal representation for a discovery hearing? I have an initial appointment with a solicitor this afternoon but that is already costing me £50 which I can ill afford at any time, but especially in the summer holidays, right before DS2 starts comp and needs a whole new set of uniform and books so it if is simple and can be done without a solicitor that would be preferable but obviously I don't want to risk blowing it by going it alone and getting it all wrong.

Would the court make a contact order if I can show a solicitors letter from 7 years ago stating that I offered access every other weekend but it was only taken up once a year on average? I'm assuming the PR request is bluff and bluster. Ex lives 400 miles away, has seen the DC 7 or 8 times in 8 years and they are now both secondary school age so PR would only be valid for a few short years anyway. There would be no reason in the children's interest to grant that would there?

Where do you live?

Sorry, I should have said, I'm in the NE of England.

The first hearing is a first directions appointment. You have a chat with the judge (if county court) or the court clerk (if family proceedings court) and a cafcass officer.

Ignore what went on in the past. Just because he turned down contact a few years ago doesn't mean to say the children should be deprived of a relationship with him forever. Think about what contact you'd like to offer, and any concerns you might have and how they can be addressed.

He has been repeatedly offered whatever frequency of contact he wants, as long as it is supervised by me due to the age of the DC and the infrequency of previous contact, he simply didn't know them well enough to know how to deal with them. Those offers were all verbal though, I can't prove them in the same way I can show the old solicitors letter which is why I mentioned it. So really, I will be going to court to offer the exact same thing that has been offered to him several times over the years and never taken up

The letter I have had doesn't specify which court but as it is relating to child access, I'm assuming that will mean family proceedings court. I am probably wrong but I was always of the impression that county court was more for civil disputes, boundaries, finances and the like and that when children were involved it automatically went to family court. That is probably terribly simplistic of me though

Thank you Collaborate it hadn't occurred to me to think about approaching it from the point of view of what we would want and come up with suggestions to make that happen. You have been very helpful. Thanks.

Awarding PR is really standard as I understand it - I doubt it is a bluff as it is almost automatic to apply for both (PR and contact).

Would you consider a contact centre rather than personally supervising? That might be a way forward. More importantly, how do the kids feel about it?

Personally I would have preferred a contact centre as it meant I wouldn't have to put up with snide comments, threats and there wouldn't have been any alcohol for him to get progressively more belligerent but I felt that it would have freaked the kids out too much and been to unnatural which would have damaged the chance of developing a normal relationship. Once we'd started with me supervising contact, his behaviour was never bad enough to justify making the change to a contact centre.

Tbh the kids are getting to that mercenary age where they have started questioning what is in it for them to spend a day being dragged round places that are suitable for the younger half sisters (aged between 1 and 6) which of course aren't that interesting to Pre-teen boys. They have to be reminded every week to be home in time for the weekly phone call and do so grudgingly. They pretty much agree to see him now with a view to keeping a relationship going so they always have the option of seeing him when they are older, rather than not see him now and probably lose that relationship altogether.

So he has managed a weekly phonecall for some time and the boys have had days out with him and their younger half-siblings? I think if that is the case you may struggle to convince a court that they need supervision, TBH.

Is it likely that he will be asking for longer periods of contact so he can have the boys at his home, rather than dragging them around shopping centres and the like?

They have had an average of one day out a year with me, their dad and his wife with their daughters. The boys tend to end up keeping an eye on/entertaining their sisters which they are getting increasingly frustrated by. Their dad winds them up then walks away and tells me to sort them out and doesn't take DS1's ADHD and aspergers into account so tries to fill them up with Coke and sweets then take them to a noisy arcade that he finds overwhelming.

In the past he has asked to have them for a week or two in the summer holidays, but isn't prepared to fetch them or meet halfway. When he asked, I suggested working up to it by increasing the amount of times he saw them to 3 times a year so he could get to know them well enough to have them on his own for a day and build up to overnight access. He then cancelled the next time he was meant to see them with a fortnights notice, despite it being planned for 8 months (he had said he couldn't do the Xmas holidays to reduce the gap, which is fair enough, Xmas is a busy time for everyone) and was difficult about making more arrangements so it ended up being almost 18 months before he saw them again.

I don't know what he'll be asking for tbh. We haven't spoken since he was threatening and insulting towards me on the phone after he'd spoken to the boys about 4 months ago. The boys are old enough now to talk to him without me hovering over them and filling him in afterwards on what they have forgotten to mention and I remind them before he rings if there is anything important happening in their lives that they need to tell him. I also text if anything important crops up in between calls. I am assuming he will be asking for overnight access, which given the distance would need to be a few days at least to justify the journey. He has raised the subject of going to stay with him with the boys and they are non-committal in reply, then later tell me they don't want to go.