can I stop my STBXH from seeing my DD if he moves 200 miles away? WWYD?

[skyebluesapphire]

Its a possibility that my H will move, back to the area that he is from or to another area connected to OW.

DD is 4yo. This would be a 3 hour drive for her. At the moment he sees her every Sunday and on a Weds if he can make it. Im assuming the midweek contact would stop.

I dont want him to collect her every Sunday and take her to where he lives as that would involve 6 hours in a van. If he collects her and takes her to his mums or bothers house, then that means that when she is with him, she will not be going to his home.

I am assuming that every other week contact would be better, ie a full weekend every two weeks, so that the travelling is spread over 2 days. But it concerns me that he will want to visit friends family etc while he is here and just drag DD around rather than take her straight back to his home.

Is there anything legally I can do to stop her being dragged from pillar to post, or from spending hours in a van on the motorway?

I dont want to stop him from seeing her, but I really dont want her cooped up in a van for hours on end.

What would you do?

Like you day, every other weekend would be best re the travel

No, you can't have a say in who else he see's or make him go straight home.

*say

Also, a big chunk of sch hold might work too

No there is nothing you can do. How he occupies his daughter in his time with here's up to him.

Every other weekend, from the Friday night to the Sunday evening would probably work better if he moves that far away.

Plus a large part of the school holidays too.

Unfortunately, unless it's dangerous or neglectful, you have no say in what he does with "his" time with your DD.

He wont have her in the school holidays as he is working (can manage a week abroad with friends in September though......) I am working at least 3 days a week and I asked him to have her for one day a week and he refused.

If it went to court, would a judge force him to have his daughter for part of the holidays? Just curious.

At the moment he is lodging with friends and has only had her one whole weekend in 4 months....

No, he wouldn't be 'forced' to have her

He kicks up a fuss if he cant see her in the local fancy dress parade, but wont commit to every Weds after school due to work and wont have her at all in the summer holidays due to work.

Some people suggest that I should ask him to commit to every Weds or he only sees her on Sundays.

If it went to court, would a judge be happy that he kicks up if he cant see her, but wont commit to regular weekday access? If he cant commit then I have to carry on with my life and if that means that sometimes she is unavailable, he has to put up with it, or commit to regular access?

No you can't stop your ex seeing your D. When a child lives with one parent the presumption is the child has a right to know and see the other parent in all but the most exceptional of cases. However, above all contact arrangements need to be practical.

If parents live a distance apart that usually means regular contact once or twice a week isn't workable and arrangements need to be made for longer less frequent contact.

How can you expect him to continue on a weds if he is miles away?

And as for the judge, he will side with what is best got your child not you. And that is a meaningful relationship with her dad..... So what dad says will work for them should be considered

I wouldnt expect him to see her on a Weds if he moved, I said that in a previous post. But if he stays, then I cant sit around waiting every Weds for him to decide whether or not he is going to visit her. I have work to arrange myself, she starts school in September, out of school clubs etc if Im working on a Weds.

So I just think if he does stick around, he should commit to Weds school pickup or forget it?

I'd arrange things for the weds based on him not seeing her. If he does it's a bonus if not then at least your not panicking. My exh used to see our dc's weds,fri night from school till about 7/7.30. Every other Saturday night. Now he has them every other Saturday from about 12 till Sunday 5. He doesn't have them any school holidays.

Sadly, no Judge can force a non resident parent to have contact with their child.
If you do refuse him the contact he is seeking then his only recourse would be to make an application to the Court for a Contact Order. The Court's paramount concern is the welfare of the child and you will be encouraged to try to resolve things amicably if at all possible.

I know its so very very difficult for you and hope you can reach a satisfactory agreement between you