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Original poster

Do you know where i can find this?!?!?

14 replies

Lovemy3kids · 26/07/2012 16:51

Hi MNers,

not sure if I am posting this in the right place, but if not, please point me in the right direction.

My STBXH cares for our children a couple of days a week, and if you have read any of my other posts, you will see what a hard time I am having over it all Sad

Anyway, I vaguely remember my solicitor telling me (when she was informed that my STBXH wouldn't give the kids any tea as "it was not his day to feed them"), that under the Children's Act, he has to feed them before returning them home.

He didn't feed them their tea last night, telling them I would feed them when they got home, even though he was supposed to give them their tea.

Does anyone know where I can find the wording where it states that he should feed them so that I can send it to him????

Thanks in anticipation :)

OP posts:
SaraBellumHertz · 26/07/2012 16:56

If your ex DH is so much of an arsehole that he will return his children to you after tea time but without having fed them, I don't imagine quoting the children's Act is going to help you.

Can you not just point that out?!

Original poster
Lovemy3kids · 26/07/2012 18:46

I've already pointed it out...it makes no difference Sad. I thought if he saw it legally, that he might do something different

OP posts:
Cartagena · 26/07/2012 18:51

Choose your battles. Have something at home you can prepare quickly in case they have not been fed by their dad. And keep a record, it will come handy.

Forget about the children's act, unless he is leaving them hungry for all the weekend, there is hardly anything you can do about it.

avenueone · 26/07/2012 19:08

What time does he drop them off? do the children say anything or are they quite relaxed about it?

Original poster
Lovemy3kids · 26/07/2012 19:11

He drops them off at 5.30....they then ask me what's for tea and when I ask "but didn't your dad feed you" they reply...."no...he said you'd do it!" they know he's supposed to feed them, but mayb because they don't live with him any more they never say anything to him...all their complaints are said to me! So, obviously, I just get on and feed them, whilst seething away to myself!!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 26/07/2012 19:15

Well to be fair 5.30 is early for dinner. Id just feed them if it was me.

Unless you want him to keep them til 8 ish and then he'd definitely feed them.

avenueone · 26/07/2012 19:41

Agree with Laurie 5.30pm is borderline really and agree with Cartagenda on choose your battles as annoying as this situation is.

TheDetective · 26/07/2012 19:42

If my ex dropped my son off at 5.30, I'd of not given a second thought about him not having tea to be honest. Tea in this house is around 6.30-7pm.

My ex has whinged about me not giving DS lunch in the past, but then he wants to pick him up at 12 midday. We don't have lunch before 12!! I've tried explaining that if he wants DS to have lunch before he picks him up, then he needs to pick him up at 1, or if he wants him to have tea, pick him up after 7pm, otherwise he just has to suck it up and feed him!

I'm not changing our family routine to suit my ex. Anyway, he knew when we were together what time meals were!

I'd just think he was being antagonistic to be honest!

Don't sweat it - or ask him to feed them and return them later?

Original poster
Lovemy3kids · 26/07/2012 19:43

Whilst I agree with you, and I have just got on fed them when they've come back, he did agree through his solicitor....which is why it narks me. S'pose I will just have to let it be another thing that he does that I let go :(

OP posts:
avenueone · 26/07/2012 21:36

What does he say you looked surprised and say `oh iIthought your solicitor said you wanted to have tea with them?'

Cartagena · 26/07/2012 22:00

Just feed them, it will cost you more to sort this through solicitors, and even if it were to get to court, they will see you as if you were wasting their time. Much more so if the children are returning so early.

trixymalixy · 26/07/2012 22:07

To have got them back for 5.30 they'd have had to have had their tea at 4.30 probably giving them time to eat it and then time to get packed up etc, assuming about 15 mins away. That is far too early for tea really. If I were you I'd just feed them and pick your battles.

Collaborate · 26/07/2012 22:42

your OP suggests that you think there's a law that says he has to give them their tea. that would be daft.

Unless it's in a court order, (and trixymalixy has hit the nail on the head) I reckon a judge would expect you to feed them.

You shouldn't be getting worked up over this. It's not important in the context of your children's happiness.

ivykaty44 · 26/07/2012 22:45

5.30 arriving home then would expect to feed the dc. I would doubt dc to eat tea at 4.30 to have half and our eating tea and then half an hour to get shoes coats on etc and get in car and come home.

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