Residence order

[angstyanne]

Can someone advise if ability of a parent to meet practical needs means financial issues?
No residence order at the mo, but ex wants shared residence but am wondering whether I should put in fact that he is long-term unemployed (was a cocklodger in MN speak) as part of my argument. I work, have ok income etc, he hasn't for more than a decade and says he won't look for work. I get £5 from CSA and his lack of money crops up when he has contact with DCs.
Also I've self-repped so far and am wondering if contested hearing is where I get a solicitor involved?

Would he be able to claim benefits for them? If he is on JSA being out of work long term won't be an option for him anyway

I get the CB and some CTC/WTC. I don't know how benefits for children get divided but thought that CTC/WTC were in work benefits?

Any legal people who can help? I'm happy for contact, but part of the problem is that his lack of money has impacted on DCs and on how contact is arranged at the mo. There are other issues too but I need to know whether court would think mentioning money issue and him not being able to afford to look after DCs when it costs is worth putting in, or is it like maintenance and is something you don't mention even though it has a practical effect?

IMO it would be more than balanced by his availability to look after the children.

Ok, both are school age and I work school hours except for one day.
And does shared residence rather than single residence make it easier when you find it near impossible to communicate with ex? He hasn't shown any interest in school stuff for DCs previously or in wanting residence before so not sure why now?
He also has refused overnights before because of money

Everyone gets uptight about shared residence but practically there no real difference between shared residence and the more traditional residence/contact orders. Shared residence doesn't have to be 50:50, it can be in different proportions. Shared residence is indicated when a child "lives" with both parents for a substantial amount of the time, the two homes and schools/nurseries are in close proximity and there is a history of shared care.

Having said that there are cases when SR has been granted when the parents live a distance apart and there isn't a substantial amount of time. One father was recently awarded SR so the child "lives" with him 2 hours a fortnight in a contact centre.

SR won't improve communication. The way to improve communication is to stop finding fault and inadequacies and focus on child centred solutions. When there is empathy and understanding communication is positive and problems are resolved constructively.

Parents separating changes things and some parents who maybe took their children for granted before want to be more involved. Better late than never I would say. They may revert to their old ways when they discover how much work and cost is involved but unless you try you will never know.

Finances has little bearing on arrangements for children. According to the ONS 50% of lone parents don't work. If the parent with the minority of care doesn't work having the children to stay can be a real struggle because they aren't entitled to any state help towards the children. There was one father here who lived off baked beans when he didn't have the children just so he could afford to feed them when they were with him.