Would a legal contract between me and dh hold up in court?

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Have discovered that my husband has been less than honest with me wrt his sexual contact with other women. Have decided to stay in the marriage - I do believe he is truly sorry and we want to make things work. I am a sahm.

He promises that if I did leave he would continue to properly support us, financially. However, I feel that I might need to protect myself with something a bit more solid than his word.

If I had a legal document drawn up, whereby dh promised to share his salary 50/50, would that be recognised and adhered to in court, should the worst happen in the future.

Please don't think I am a mercenary cow. Part of the reason i might want this is so that he knows my decision to stay is not based on money (it truly isn't) and thought it might take it out of the equation for us.

Part of me also doesn't want him to think I am a pushover. As I said, I am hoping all will work out and am also looking into returning to work, but in the mean time would like 'extra' protection.

What do you guys think?

What you're referring to is a post -nuptial agreement. Post and Pre-nups are not legally binding in the UK, but the courts can, at their discretion, take them into account. But no, as far as I know, you couldn't 100% rely on it.

Thanks for the reply. I am hoping never to need it, but feel on some level that perhaps I have trusted too much and need to protect myself a bit more.

Yes to both of those baby barrister.

Possibly maintenance would give me more than 50% (we have dc and I am primary carer), but it wasn't really about the amount of money for me. Hard to put it into words (can't quite believe that I am having these thoughts about dh)but it was about him knowing that my choice to stay wasn't about being financially dependent and also an element of letting him know that he has destroyed trust. Sorry, am straying into emotional territory here, rather than legal.

I appreciate the responses.

Agree with what babybarrister has said.
Also, just trying to understand your last post about maintenance. Are you saying you think/hope child maintenance would give you more than 50% of his income? It really wouldn't. Even if you had 3 or more children the maximum you'd expect to get would be 25% for the DC. Depending on both of your circumstances, you may well get spousal maintenance for a limited term but unlikely to receive over 50% of his income in my opinion.

I can totally understand why you have concerns and trust issues. I've been there too and can understand why you want to protect yourself and your DC. It will take a very long time to regain that trust. Hope it works out for you.

Thank you for the good wishes.

The thing is, it was a joint decision for me to sah - not something I imposed upon a reluctant husband and it has benefitted him greatly in his career (he had the freedom to move abroad for work, hasn't had to worry about doing his share of the child care or taking time off when the dc were ill etc). I know that he has worked hard and I don't wish to detract from that but I do feel that he has the career and money that he does, half because of me. I want to protect, for my dc, what I feel is rightly half mine. The house is jointly owned.

He says that if I leave, he will always support us and I believe that he genuinely means it. However, being realistic, if we split, the chances are high that he would meet someone else and I don't want to leave my children's financial security in the hands of my replacement, who won't give two hoots about my children and who is unlikely to support him in his idea to share his wages equally.

I'm thinking that I will probably pursue this idea of a post nuptial agreement. Even if it isn't completely legally binding it will show a court his intentions and may be useful.

I hate being so hard nosed when I am thinking about my own husband, but I am still at the stage where I think he deserves black and what proof of what he has sacrificed.

Still, it is my intention never to need it - would just feel better with some back up plan.

black and white proof.

No, I can't see that being agreed to in court unless he is an extremely high earner. Spousal & child maintenance usually only comes to a maximum of a third of earnings. Unfortunately there is no way to protect yourself but maybe look at getting some sort of work for yourself so you start to gain some financial independence. BTW, most courts do expect women to have earning capacity, especially if their children are school aged.

I believe that this would be considered a post nuptial agreement and they are not recognised by uk courts. However it maybe taken into consideration depending on how co operation you partner was being ie if he agrees then ok if not then no.

I would refer the OP to babybarriater's post - post nuptial settlements can be upheld by the courts, so to say they are not recognised is wholly incorrect.

My children are school aged (youngest just started), but I have been out of work for so long that I couldn't just walk back into my old career. Supporting his career has cost me, in that sense. Maybe I was wrong to do it, if only because it put too much pressure on him.

I couldn't do this without his full agreement and he has said that he has always viewed his earnings as ours and will sign whatever I want, if it makes me feel better. The fact that he is so willing to do it, has made me think that I don't need to, that I can trust him.

This is just something I was mulling over and I sincerely want to remain married to my dh - he is my best friend and I don't want to be without him.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me - it is much appreciated x