In court for his visitation rights! can't let this happen help!!

[Alexasmummy12]

My Ex partner is applying for visitaion rights for my 5 month old daughter, to put it bluntly he is a drunk, violent and under care for phycosis he is very unpredictable and has also been accused of rape on two seperate women. I am obviously opposing any kind of visitation what are his chances of winning even supervised visitation rights?
Anybody else been in a similar situation, what was your outcome?

Do you have a solicitor?

God how awful. Sorry I don't have any experience but surely if he's 'under care' and there are records available to show this he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near her unsupervised? That may be hard for you, having to spend time with him, but not as hard as letting her go with him on her own. Hope someone more knowledgeable is along soon. And yes, speak to a solicitor.

He is very likely to get supervised contact. Was he violent to you? Is that part of his illness? Hard to give you a definitive answer but the courts nearly always award some contact

Yes i have a solicitor thankyou, the allegations of rape that he was arrested for were only last month so as awful as that is for the poor girls im hoping it will go in my favour! yes he was very violent towards me, and has openly admitted (i have messages for proof) that he uses his 'illness' to get away with things. Tbh he's a compulsive lier and im not comvinced hes even got this illness hes been diagnosed with. I'm just hoping someone out there has been in a similar situation and could offer advice from experience. Thankyou to all who has commented so far

Yes, I have been there.

Did you report the violence to yourself, so you have police reports etc?
At court you can request a forensic psychological assessment. This will prove/disprove MH issues

Even so, he's likely to get some form of contact.

Try for indirect contact - the system needs changing but for now he will get some contact so try for the least you can.
When all these children who are being forced into seeing unsuitable fathers/mothers as it in the `child's best interest' grow up with issues, the system and the people involved in it should be brought to justice.

inboxed you op

Hs your solicitor mentioned there being a fact finding hearing?

Good luck op

You need to make sure any contact is supervised and observed given the background . So a contact centre staffed by professionally trained people. Not just volunteers . And proper reports back to court.

Just make sure all evidence is put to court including any relevant police reports, mh reports etc if you have them. Otherwise enough that you can put forward so that judge requests fact finding report

And you should not be supervising contact if that is awarded. As she is so young it could only be very short times anyway an hour at most. I would have thought .

My exp has sometimes used his mh to try and get things in his favour eg delay process
And other times has said actually he has no issues at all. But I thin s long as you stay calm and factual about the concerns then hopefully judge will order relevant reports and only allow for strictly supervised contact.

If he has been violent to you then it isn't a given he will get even indirect contact. He would first need to successfully complete some kind of perpetrator programme.

Your solicitor will hopefully make it very clear that the issue of contact canner progress until his level of risk is ascertained. You will need relevant police and medical disclosure. If he is as dangerous as you say, there should be plenty of both.

But ultimately the courts will want to find a way that his daughter can at least know something about him. But her safety is the prime issue.

I have abusive messages dating back over a year ago, prove off harrassment,but only a couple of police reports (so not as many as there should be!) I have been informed of the chance of a fact finding hearing but this didn't seem like there's was very much chance of one...I'm at my wits end, he's only doing this because he's unhappy and doesn't have control over me anymore! I haven't replied to any of his text one of which point blank asked how I was, another two saying he still loves me after a year off splitting up and Atleast 6 months of me ignoring him and ringing the police about harassment. If he genuinely cared about my daughter where was the question of how she was? He a danger to adults nevermind a beautiful baby. But by the sounds of it I'v got no chance of no access...(p.s this may not mean much anymore bit his name is NOT on her birth certificate)

If he is a danger to adults and children because of violence, if he won't accept this, you will have to have a fact finding. But if the only evidence you have got is those texts, that won't get you very far. Has he got convictions for violent offences? You have only telephoned the police about harassment, rather than fear of violence?

What involvement does he have with a mental health team. You mention psychosis, that sounds serious. Has he disclosed his medical records?

I know this is hard when you would rather have nothing to do with him, but unless you have clear evidence that he is likely to hurt either you or her, the courts are going to push for some kind of contact. However much of a idiot he is, he is still the only dad she will ever have and she is bound to be curious about him as she grows up.

He recently got arrested for two seperate rapes, the messages iv got are him threatening to 'slit peoples throats' and 'kill the police' if I ring them and send them round texts stating he will make my bf 'disappear'. I have never had any intention of lieing to her, that wouldn't be fair. But we'll she's young her safety is up to me when she's older she can make her own decisions.

And yes he is under or was under a psychiatrist

Alexasmummy: do you know he is going to def. do this? (apply to court) does he know how much of his life will be looked into and what a VERY SLOW process it will be (I know that will be hard and slow for you too). Will he be able to keep it up? You sound very frightened and I don't want you to be. What has your solicitor said?

Spero - whilst yes she will be curious to know about him when she grows up - why is contact now, under these circumstances going to help her become... is it `more secure when she is older'.... they say... it's all anecdotal IMO (and cost effective) and doesn't make it either factually correct or morally correct. Does an amazing mum doing an already hard (I know also rewarding) job need this and what impact is that going to have on the child as this wonderful Mum is her main caregiver- why does the life of the mother or father in other cases, not matter ? and how will this will affect the mother/father (talking generally now) as she grows up.? once you pass 16 does the court discount your future mental health.

It is the right of the child to see the father/mother not the other way round but why should the other parent be forced to facilitate in ways that affect their human rights IMO.

I don't see a system that is looking on a case by case basis... those resident parents who for no reason at all are preventing good parents from seeing their children are the reason it has gone too far the other way IMO. They need to be dealt with differently.

Ok it is better to know how the law is at this present time but we can't just say `this is the law at this current time' we have to protect those parents who are being wrongfully prevented from seeing their children but we must also prevent other parents and their children being abused by the law - we have to say we disagree with it - this helps all sides except the abusers. I have been very concerned by the PC approach taken on so many topics. If the tables were turned I think they would feel very differently.

I'm at court on the 23rd of august and a DNA test has already been granted due to him LIEING about when we split and saying I was having an affair! Which is untrue and a total kick in the teeth due to the way I was treated by him. I know it's going to be long and I'm hoping he can't keep up with it all and gives up but the longer it takes the older my little girl will be and the bettr chance he has. My solicitor is going to ordr drug/alcohol tests and a liver function test which. Thankyou avenueone, unlike him I'm not doing to spite him or score cheap points I'm fighting for my family's safety! I wouldn't take my lg out on my own for the first few months in fear he would see me attack me and take her!

If he has been arrested for two separate rapes then I think you are perfectly within your rights to say that the contact issue cannot proceed unless and until you know the outcome of the criminal proceedings. If he is charged and it goes to trial he is potentially looking at a long custodial sentence. I can't see any court ordering you to faciliate contact with a young child in prison, but there might still be the issue of indirect contact.

Also, if he is currently seeing a psychiatrist you want a brief letter stating diagnosis and prognosis.
No court is simply going to nod through a contact order on the facts as you describe.

No I wouldn't expect the courts to take my word for it I will be insisting on every bit of paperwork my solicitor can get. He was arrested but not enough evidence for court from what I know, this happened last month sometime so very recent I know he didn't officially get charged but it's got to count for something right?

I wouldn't want a brief letter surly I'd be asking for every detail they can legally supply?

You need all the police disclosure relating to the rape complaints, including reasons why they didn't take it further. If the allegations were considered malicious for eg, that won't get you much further.

The courts won't order lengthy reports from a treating psychiatrist as this could interfere with the relationship with prent and could mean the dr gets dragged into court proceedings. If more evidence is needed the court will order a full assessment from an independent expert. But a short letter from treating dr will clarify how serious the issue is and what further ev might be needed.

I am sure your solicitor is on the ball and will sort all this out, but if you are anxious, try writing down every issue you are worried about and get him/her to tick it off with you so you are reassured that everything is being taken into account.