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Original poster

Question on PR

11 replies

Pandoralight · 08/07/2012 11:51

My XP is threatening to take me to court for overnight access of my two children. I have sole parental responsibility of my eldest and my younger one of ours was born in early 2003. He's been quite goading and said he'll immediately get access overnight for younger one because of PR. What date in 2003 did it come in to force? I thought it was DEC 2003 (if that's the case do I also have sole PR of youngest?).

Also where do I stand in him getting overnight acess straight away? He's married and has two other DCs with his wife. However, my children have seen him 5 times in 9 years. During our relationship he also has DV on record and drug use.

I'm aware that is the past but I'd like to see for myself that he's off the drugs before I leave him go off with my children alone. Plus I'd like him to establish a consistant bond with my children. Every time he's seen them his wife and other DC come (his wife is lovely and we get on, as are his other DC) but is it wrong to want him to spend some time with my children - just the three of them so they can get some quality time with their dad too?

OP posts:
avenueone · 08/07/2012 12:05

From what you have said and I have read up about these cases, it is unlikely he would be awarded what would be a residence order if regular contact has not even been established regardless of PR. Has he got any kind of contact order in place? if not then he would prob go for that first and it would a long process - if he sticks by everything it could be extended to cover overnights - but by that time you would hopefully have more confidence in him. You can mention the drugs and he may have to do a hair test - have a read of the CAFCASSS web site, it may help you.

Original poster
Pandoralight · 08/07/2012 12:16

Thank you avenueone. I'll pop over to the website and have a look. There's no contact order in place. At the minute it's like he sees them when he can fit them in (IYKWIM).

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 08/07/2012 12:41

He does not have PR through being named on the birth certificate. If you were married he will have PR that way. If not he can still gain PR through agreement with you or via a court order.

An order involving overnight contact is NOT a residence order. It is still a contact order. A residence order is to resolve a dispute over where the children live. It will be best all round if you can agree contact between you without involving the courts.

You may prefer him to spend time with your children alone but you cannot enforce that. Who he sees and what he does with your children when they are in his care is up to him.

avenueone · 08/07/2012 13:16

Sorry you are quite right about residence order - it would be a contact order allowing overnight stays, which I feel would only be granted once the children had spent more time with him to build up the bond and everyone including you will feel comfortable with it.

Original poster
Pandoralight · 08/07/2012 14:57

Thanks

Ph I have no problem with both his other DC and wife being involved in my children's lives (as I said, his DC seems nice enough as do their kids). But would it hurt for him to at least one of the times see our children on his own - to build up the bond, then the next time bring his extended family?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pandoralight · 08/07/2012 14:59

I mean Prh sorry Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Pandoralight · 08/07/2012 15:02

and i meant his DW seems nice enough. I put DC instead of DW - argh i'm in complete tizz with all this - stress! I would love to work out something amicable. I'm just not sure he is up to that given his crappy contact with them.

OP posts:
babybarrister · 08/07/2012 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Pandoralight · 08/07/2012 21:57

Thanks for the reply babybarrister. I've no problem with a gradual build up providing he's drug free and consistant.

I mainly wanted to ask about the PR so I knew where I stood. At least I'll be able to inform him he's wrong on the PR front and can't keep goading me on it.

OP posts:
babybarrister · 08/07/2012 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cestlavielife · 08/07/2012 23:41

He can apply for pr however if he literally has only seen them five times In nine years then you could certainly put in something to the courts saying that for now his Involvemnt in their lives has been minimal and inconsistent, so that your view is pr is not appropriate just yet til contact has been built up...

Or has there been financial support
Views on their school etc
Any involvement in major decisions ?

If he takes you to court you simiy put in a statement saying that overnight is not for now that it is best interst of children t have build up of regular day time contact first.

I don't think you can say who he has around on those contact visits tho

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