Can I rent out former marital home without ex's involvement?

[JayTay]

Things between my ex & I are nasty. He's making my life hell. He refuses to divorce, sell the house, sort out finances & is following and intimidating me constantly. I want to move immediately. I can't afford to rent or buy anywhere till the house is sold. Can I rent out the house and move without his consent or without even telling him? Would the rent money be joint money? If I did it without his knowledge would the tenancy agreement be void? Could there be any legal repercussions on me?

Also if I were to switch schools, could I do so without telling him or without his permission? If he refuses can I do it & battle him later, by then her school has changed so it's not fair on her to make her switch back etc?

I need to move far away ASAP. He's not going to willingly just let me do it, he will fight it. But I need to go this summer.

Are the property deeds and mortgage held in joint names or sole names? You can't rent out a property without the agreement of all the owners and it's likely to be a condition of the mortgage that you can't rent out the property without changing the mortgage.

If your ex has Parental Responsibility you both have equal responsibility and rights to carry out those responsibilities. That means each parent can act unilaterally with every day-to-day parenting, but there needs to consultation and agreement about important educational decisions such as which school a child attends. When parents can't agree either parent can apply for a court ruling to determine the issue.

Acting unilaterally can leave you on the back foot. Every case turns on the particular facts. There are cases where the court has found the move premeditated and motivated purely by a desire to frustrate contact so a change back has been ordered with the children living during the week with the other parent. A court can also impose a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the move. If you do move the court will in most cases still order contact and because you moved you may be expected to do the travelling, or at least a good portion of it.

A more positive way to resolve the issue would be to apply to court for a Specific Issue Order. You would then need show well thought out practical arrangements for living, accommodation, schooling, finances, contact and travel. The court would consider whether or not your motivation for the move is to frustrate contact and if your ex's opposition to the move was more to do with controlling you than in the interests of the children.

They're not going to grant an order for me to go. I know the school & ex will fight it, the LA will back him, if I ask him or the courts I won't get permission. I'm not going to continue to live like this.

Neither the school nor the LA can take legal action to stop you moving your child to a different school or moving out of the area. This is between you and your ex.

Why are you so certain the courts won't give you permission? If it is in your child's best interests to change schools or for you to move to a different area you will get the necessary court orders to allow you to do so.

I had a court trial yesterday where I had applied for a non mol against my ex. I submitted 43 pages of detailed incidents of abuse, violence, sexual assault, financial & social abuse, 108 pages of police reports, section 7 reports & evidence, my ex actually admitted that he had been violent, that he knew he was intimidating me & upsetting our daughter, said he is going to come to my house, continue to intimidate me & stalk me & that he will not modify his behaviour without an order by the court with the threat of arrest, even the judge said he was inflexible, unreasonable, entitled & arrogant, but I still didn't get the order. The school head was called as a witness & totally backed him up. The LA completely back him up. The police do nothing. I am totally alone in this. But I can't keep living like this & if the court, police, LA & school won't do anything at all to help this then I have to do something myself. I haven't eaten or slept for weeks with the stress of what he's been doing. I need to get away right now. He won't give me permission, I don't even need to try & ask, there's no way & if I take this to court the school & LA will be involved & will back him. I'm trying to find any way at all I can do this, any loophole, anything that will strengthen my position a bit. Anything.

Don't know what to say. Just that the courts will put the interests of a father's contact above the well being of the mother (in my experience) to an extreme degree. It seems ridiculous when someone is like you, suffering to this extreme and yet soldiering on as mum. Womens Aid are helpful, they put me in touch with IDAS.

Just to put some perspective on things:

The courts always put the interests of the child first - not either parent. Contact and meaningful relationships with both parents is the right of the child.

Yes I know, even when one of the childs parents is extremely abusive to the other to the point of endangering the health of the childs primary carer.
Some of these children might not be so grateful when older and they have adult perspective on things.

In such a situation the courts would strive to ensure that contact does not expose the parent with care to abuse by using 3rd parties to facilitate handovers.

Yes this is familiar. Hard to arrange handovers like that when contact centres are run by volunteers though. My ex was drunk during contact once and the c/c didn't have the authority to check his pockets for booze. He relished in the opportunity to give a display of adoration on seeing the kids many times after being clearly told to wait inside.
Contact can be supervised properly with constant observers etc but only for a limited time (limited resources). People like my ex are just going to be squeaky clean until they get the chance to be themselves.
Good luck Jay Tay, womens aid/IDAS, contact them if you haven't done yet!
I know from experience you will need ex's signature to rent a house out and I suspect that trying to do anything with his cooperation would end in tears. Put your house on the market?