Solicitor recommendations (Greater Manch) and contact ideas please

[iammovingsoon]

I posted this in Lone Parents but didn't get any useful responses, so trying here.

I am moving to Trafford next month and need a solicitor who takes Legal Help/Aid cases and has experience of dealing with issues involving abusive non-resident fathers.

I also need to think of a way of facilitating contact once I move. My daughter is 15 months old. It will have to be one day a week (presumably at the weekend as he works) as he'll be 175 miles away then, so it can't be more often (although he sees her three times a week now).

But I need to find someone to supervise, and a place for it to happen. I'm not happy having him in my home, I stopped him coming there when she was six months old. I do have family near there, but the nearest person is very busy/stressed and I wouldn't want to impose on them regularly. The other two are further out (in different cities) so could do it occasionally but not always.

A contact centre is not a good idea IMO because there is an expectation that supervised contact will become unsupervised just with the handover at the centre, and I don't think that he will magically become a non-abusive person just because he can behave in front of the staff for a few months. And I wouldn't be allowed in with her. So I'd rather keep it informal so I can have someone trustworthy there with us long-term (who he will behave when around). She still breastfeeds regularly (minimum every 2 hours during the day) and I've never left her before so I would have to be there for the foreseeable future.

Any ideas for what sort of person I could ask and where it could happen? I.e. is there some kind of professional who would do something like that, e.g. Social Services, a charity etc? Or will I just have to make a very tolerant friend with lots of free time?!

Hi, OP, you can find a family lawyer on the website www.resolution.org.uk, and gauge from that which ones still do public funding (not many do these days as there is virtually no profit).

So far as contact is concerned, your dd sees her dad three times a week now; is that supervised? If not, then it would be hard to convince a court that it should be supervised now.

I only really know about contact centres, and you're right, at some point it is assumed that the child has the right to see the father in a more normal environment, go out to the park, or the cinema or whatever.

Can I ask, what were the incidents of violence or neglect towards your daughter? If they were severe, then the court could order indirect contact in between visits, but tbh I think you will have to re-think the contact centre. Most are only open for two hours on alternate Saturdays.

Looking forward, the breastfeeding issue isn't going to last forever so I don't think you're going to get very far with that. If arrangements can't be made between you, and mediation probably won't work because of the distance, your ex is likely to make an application for defined contact, and a Cafcass officer will meet with everyone involved and write a report recommending the way in which contact should take place. You need also to be aware that the court may order you to meet your ex halfway for the visits, as you chose to move her away from her dad.

Thanks for the link.

Yes it's currently supervised by me and my friend one day, and me and his family the other two days - although he still doesn't behave appropriately around his family, it was a short-term measure as I knew I'd be moving soon.

He hasn't had a chance to be severely violent or neglectful towards her as it has always been supervised (even if just by me in the early months). He abuses me in front of her (including physically a few times, but usually emotional/verbal), has pulled her when she's in the sling to force me to slow down/stop, controls me in other ways by not letting me parent X way unless I do Y, he is controlling towards her when she plays with him, he has made "jokes" about strangling her etc, he won't take her to the toilet (she's been EC'd since birth so this is the equivalent of changing her), he's tried to feed her soft drinks with caffeine in (from 6 months) etc. I don't want him to have the chance to get worse if nobody is there!

I don't intend to go to court myself as I know they often order unsupervised contact in such cases and I don't want him to have the chance to normalise abusive behaviour for her at such a young age, especially as modelling that way of interacting to her makes her more likely to be a victim of her own future partners. I don't think the emotional abuse is any less damaging than hitting her, and he's an expert at it. Not sure why only violence or neglect seems to be taken seriously, her mental health and self-esteem is just as important as her physical health.

My current solicitor said I wouldn't have to pay his visiting costs or meet him halfway, I wouldn't have planned to move if that were the case. I can't afford to do that, I live on Income Support (and logistically couldn't anyway as I have a dog and don't drive). I'm moving to be near my family. Is it definite that I could be told to do that then? I don't think mediation would work anyway as I've been advised against it in cases of abuse.

Well I've narrowed it down to three solicitors in Manchester with the correct specialisms from that website. Does anyone have personal experience of the following firms?

Seddon Thomson (Carol Seddon)
KHF Solicitors (Rachel Attfield)
Michael Alexander & Co (Julie Hay)

Sorry I don't practice in Manchester so don't know any of them. If you're living off benefits then you won't be expected to contribute towards the dad's travel expenses.

OK, thanks.