This is complex, so apologies in advance for the length!
An elderly family member (Let's call him John) died in March this year. I didn't know him well but I am sore carer for his last remaining sibling (we'll call him Ryan). John's wife died about 20 years ago and they had no children. I believe that means Ryan is his next of kin? Anyway...
Ryan and John were close, and saw each other most days. However neither were the type to discuss the practicalities of life. When John passed away, a distant relative who is a religious minister made the arrangements for his funeral etc. I don't know if this was agreed in advance or not.
At the time, he asked Ryan if he was the last sibling left, and when he said yes, he said he'd need to speak to him soon "about business". When Ryan asked me what i thought about this comment, I said that I assumed that either the Minister was John's executor, and perhaps he'd been left something in his will - or that John had no will, and he needed Ryan to get invovled as next of kin in sorting out any bills etc and tying up any loose ends with his estate. In any case, the Minister hasn't got in touch.
Ryan has flatly refused to contact the Minister himself, as he's worried about appearing as if he's wanting to inherit - he genuinely couldn't care less about any inheritance - but he's worrying himself sick that John's estate isn't being sorted out properly, and that there may be unpaid debts sitting. I don't have any contact details for the Minister and no way to get them except through Ryan, who obviously doesn't want me to contact him. I've tried to reassure him that it's not for him to worry about anyway, but he's having none if it and is getting more and more worked up, which is bad for his health.
At Ryan's request I've checked through the government website and no will has gone through probate yet - but i don't know if it would have yet - is 4 months too soon for this? I can check again in a couple of months, but if nothing shows up, what then?
I'm now thinking the poor Minister maybe knows nothing about a damn will either, but is out of pocket for the funeral and the 'business' he spoke about was him hoping Ryan (as next of kin and the person he'd probably assume was named as his executor) would sort out his expenses from the estate! (I obviously haven't said this to Ryan as that would make him even more upset!)
Watching Ryan get so upset over this is awful, but I really don't see how I can possibly help set his mind at ease without contacting the Minister (who may not know anything either, to be fair, but may be able to help) - does anyone have any ideas? I've got to the stage of seriously considering lying to Ryan and saying that it's all sorted to try to reassure him, but I can't do that (not least because he'll want to know all the details and I'm a crap lier so it would end up making everything worse!)
to anyone who managed to wade though that lot!!