Advice needed on multiple things- divorce /legal etc

[Carseatcrazy]

ive just come off the phone to my best friend whi is in pieces. Her dh has left her (announced he was lea ing 2 weeks before dd of 2nd child). Baby is now 3 weeks old, pal totally trapped -can't drive after c section, trying to juggle needs of a 3 yr old equally in bits...

Anyway- can anyone suggest what she should do first- I'm thinking find herself a really good lawyer.... She's in n London if anyone can recommend?..... Any help gratefully received. Dh has said he is def leaving and is going to file for divor e this week..... I don't know what to suggest:(:( just gutted for her:(:(

She should look for a lawyer who specialises in Collaborative law. She'll find a list near to her on the Resolution website.

She can find a specialist divorce lawyer on the website www.resolution.org.uk, but check first whether she may be entitled to public funding by going on the eligibility calculator on the Legal Services Commission website.

If her husband definitely feels that the marriage is over his solicitors will send her a draft petition before it goes to court so that she can give feedback about the allegatons. He can only divorce her on her unreasonable behaviour or adultery, the other options all involve a period of separation.

So far as the divorce itself is concerned, it's generally better not to have a fight over the allegations unless they are of a financial nature or allege that she hasn't looked after the children properly (those allegations may be referred to later on in other proceedings.) Other than that, there is no point arguing about whose fault it is that the marriage has broken down, the court isn;t going to be interested and it only adds to the cost and delays matters.

The crucial thing for your friend is to get a lawyer on board quickly who will guide her through the procedure not just of the divorce, but more importantly, the financial settlement. Generally, solicitors try not to get involved in the arrangements for contact between the children and the other parent as it's assumed that the parents will sort that part out themselves.

Am very sorry for your friend, what a complete and utter bastard her H is being.
Agree with Collaborate and Mumblechum, she needs to get herself a good lawyer asap. Hopefully babybarrister will be along soon as I'm sure she can recommend some good family lawyers in London.

Agree with BB, it's a good idea to take a friend to take notes of what the solicitor says (or if necessary to take the baby out of the room so that she's not wasting her precious free half hour advice!)

Just tell your friend not to rush things & to take her time. My ex tried to pressure me into a divorce whilst I was pregnant but I didn't want to rush things. The most important thing is the new baby, she needs to ring council tax & tax credits to tell them she is now on her own. Then as other people have said shop around for a solicitor but it really doesn't have to be now this minute if she doesn't feel up to it.

Thank you all so much for your advice. I will call her now and pass that on. I would desperately love to go with her bit unfortunately I'm in Devon with family commitments down here:(:( but I'm hoping I can get to her over half term. But thank u thank u - that is seriously good advice an some great recommendations. I totally agree with mosagain- I am in total disbelief that anyone could do that to anyone- the most incredibly awful timing:(:( just beggars belief :(:(

Thank u all- I'll pass this all on to her now :) xx