Guardian ad litem

[philosowatzit]

Please may someone advise me regarding the GAL in my case. She believes my daughters allegations. She got a telling off from the judge for telling me that, and nearly had herself removed. She has since gone on to tell me she has changed her position and now supports him, but still appears to believe my daughter. She said CSA is the easiest type of abuse to get over? She said it was well known and there is plenty of research to prove this. Is this true? I don't think so. However, surely this guardian should be removed. Pushing abused kids into contact????

Anyway, daughter told her again she didn't want contact, but supervised has been ordered. My daughter refused to go. Severly anxious, locked herself in bathroom, started hitting me, trashing the house, refused to go to the naughty step, or co-operate in any way. Usually she does as she's told, (on the 3rd or 4th telling, however) So what do I do now? I have broken a court order. It's not as if I didn't make her available. She was too scared to go, so quiet, and unlike herself. As far as I am aware, she doesn't remember a thing about the CSA. I phoned the contact centre, and daughter spoke to manager and told her some of the reasons she didn't want to go, involving physical abuse, (new to me, but I guess they could go hand in hand) and the contact worker said just speak to guardian on monday. What will likely happen now? Any advice welcome

oh my lord i've just read on another thread that if I allow contact then social services may potentially start care proceedings as they have advised absolutely no contact. Rock - hardplace?

So - presumably the judge believes you've implanted in your daughter's mind the suggestion she was abused. And she now believes it, although she doesn't remember it. Have I guessed right?

No, I was trying to say that the guardian believed my daughter before meeting her, these new issues have only come to light since my daughter has been questioned by the teachers at her school. Guardian says there is conflicting reports or something like that. All was quiet on the western front until this guardian ad litem became involved. It's so complex it's difficult to convey!

So long as the contact centre has recorded what you dd has said and that you tried to make her available for contact then just point this out if you need to.

You need "reasonable " excuse to stop contact.

So presumably daughters anxiety is not a 'reasonable excuse'. How will they look into daughters anxiety? How or what can I do, to get my daughter to go to the contact centre, so they can see how she is? My other child is absolutely fine, with no anxiety about the whole process whatsoever.

I guess I should add, that I suggested indirect contact from the very beginning, never received any, so I have no problem with kids knowing about him. Members of him own family warned me I shouldn't leave him alone with kids, yes, their emails and letters were handed in to court.

I mean your dd anxiety is reasonable excuse . But you maybe need it witnessed so is not just your say so .

Well obviously is judge decision as to whether it is reasonable or not. But if you feel it was reasonable and there is some evidence somewhere then I don't see you going to prison for withholding contact..... Presumably is complex case anyway . Your sol can argue you allowed your dd to not go to contact because of her distress and therefore this was reasonable excuse ?

If social services have advised no contact then go with that but make sure you have this in writing. . If you show judge some professional saying no contact then no contact it is.

If another professional says something different then is for judge to sort out I guess .....

Keep good records of exactly what your dd said and did. How old is she ?

Her behaviour has been witnessed at school, by friends, by the guardian. I've recorded trying to get her there on my phone. She is 5. I tried everything apart from physically forcing her. I encouraged her to communicate in another way, she did a card. A very dark, explicit, angry looking card.

philosowatzit wrote;

So presumably daughters anxiety is not a 'reasonable excuse'. How will they look into daughters anxiety?

Options include an independent expert witness such as a psychiatrist or psychologist could be appointed by the court to prepare a report and make recommendations. Or a social worker might work with the family and collect your daughter and take her contact to observe the interactions.

If there is evidence that the anxiety is based on real past events and behaviour of the father then he will be expected to change his behaviour and your daughter may require psychological treatment before any contact is considered.

On the other hand if it is found the anxiety is based on weak, unrealistic reasons or parental alienation they may be overcome after several observed contact sessions and contact can then resume or in some cases a change of residence has been ordered.

is she already seeing a psychologist/family therapist? if not take to gp and ask for referal

The problem is children may resent therapy if as they see it the problem is lying within their parents' relationship. Also as far as court proceedings are concerned evidence from a treating professional doesn't carry much weight so it might be better and less confusing initially to work with a social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists appointed by the court to determine the root cause of the problem before starting any psychological treatment.

It's hard to know what to do for the best. Initial psychologist hinted in his report that he may change his mind if further evidence came to light. Could the courts ask that he report again? or would they hire a different one? I don't want to go outside the court arena, as I had thought the same as the above post. I have been recording her behaviour myself again. I really would love to know what is making her anxious, because if it is me, I'd like to know what I am doing wrong. Obviously the court process is generally an anxious time, for all concerned, but daughters behaviour is almost too much to handle. No one seems to listen or care, again, because of the above school of thought. Meanwhile, the whole family is suffering.