Can I get fathers name added to birth certificate?

[Ninjabeck]

Hi.

DS(5)s dad has no contact with him (his choice). Hes was involved in his life for only 18 months, seeing him about 6 times before us finally not hearing from him for 3 months before I got a text saying he didnt want to see him again.

Originally he agreed to go on the birth certificate, which I understood was done by a declaration of paternity witness by solicitor, so all he needed to do was fill in a form. He hasnt done this, and has ignored my requests for him to do.

Basically can i force him to be added to the birth certificate? I understand that a dad can go on against the mums wishes via court dna / declaration of paternity, so can I do the reverse? In theory if I can threaten him with court, I think he would do it anyway, but hes the type to check it out so it needs to be a real threat not an empty one and I would take the prat to court if thats the only way IYSWIM?

Thanks
ninja

I don't know but think carefully before you try! If he's on the BC he will have PR and could cause problems for you in the future. He has to pay child maintenance to you regardless of if he's on the BC and your little boy will know from you who his father is, kids really don't care v much about BCs in my experience.

I had to beg DS1s father to go on the BC and I bitterly regret doing so now.

Also if he's on the BC (and has PR) you'd need his consent whenever you want to take DS out of the country, even for a holiday.

I second the think carefully once he is on the birth cert he has parental responsibility and nothing can ever change that. Eg he can contest your choice of school, your taking him abroad etc etc. Your son can know who is father is without that piece of paper. I'm not sure if legally you can make him without a court and DNA test which he could in theory refuse.

Even if he isnt seeing DS at all?

I know he will gain PR, but I assumed, possibly wrongly then, that it wouldnt really matter since hes completely uninterested. I thought people could unilaterally exercise their PR and it was up to the other person to disagree.

I suppose I just feel for DS really, it seems wrong that his dads not on there. I would like him to have that info on the document that registers his birth, and figured that any arguement about it was best done when DS was smaller and didntknow if there was a limit to being able to change then.

What if it does matter to DS when hes older that his dads not on there, but ive lost any knowledge of where his dad is. Hes already moved once so that I wouldnt know where he lives, and its only by chance that ive found out where hes living now.

Also (and its totally irrelevant really) I am big into my family history at the moment, and keep thinking future generations wont be able to trace back.

God I dont know. I didnt realise PR would be such a big thing, because hes clear that he wants nothing to do with DS, so I dont think hed be bothered about stopping a holiday or school, but then he mmight be difficult out of spite because im making hiim do something he doesnt want to.

I think if you go ahead then you have to accept the very real possibility that maybe 5 years down the line he will change his mind or that if you 'make' him do this he would want to exercise his pr and u would then have to get his consent for holidays etc etc. I do understand how you feel my ds doesn't have his father name on the birth cert his choice and I am a historian/archaeologist so get the history factor as well but at the end of the day only you can decide if the potential fallout is worth it to you.

Sounds like you care more than your DS will. My DH's father isn't on his BC and he couldn't care less. You can do genealogical research now, with what you know, and pass that on to your DS.

What about his paternal grandparents? You could approach them or other relatives, they might like to be involved in their grandson's life if his father isn't and it would make real connections for DS rather than a piece of paper.

My DS's father reappeared and has caused us terrible problems. Please be cautious. Him being on the BC gives him power it sounds like he doesn't deserve.