Advice for SIL who has finally left DV/EA relationship

[sadwidow28]

SIL is married to my brother (27/28 years)

2 grown-up children (both working - eldest living away)

My SIL has finally plucked up the courage to leave my brother after years of EA and DV.

She got the keys to a flat on Monday 30th April and moved in that day without anything. (I am not sure if it is Council etc) Her own sublings are supportive - as I and another sister is. I phone her regularly to see what else she needs and have parcels of stuiff being sent by my friends.

Okay, here is the problem. She is on JSA but has been 'hit' by a Council Tax bill from the family home this morning. (Brother has all his pension in his name.)

She is distraught at the thought that she owes this money when she didn't have any access to the family finances. But because the council Tax was in BOTH names, she is liable.

She has been to the Council today .... not helpful.

She has had a half hour free with a solicitor when she decided to leave my brother. (She doesn't feel ready to start divorce proceedings yet)

What practical advice can I give my SIL to keep her on-track and strong?

tell her to go to CAB as they will be able to help her for free. they may be able to point her in the direction of a local DV help group who may also be able to help with finances etc.

although she may not feel ready to divorce yet she is going to have to start the process to get any financial orders via the courts. she may be entitled to public funding especially as DV was involved.

Thank you CountyDurham - I am trying to advise from a distance. SIL is NE and I am in the NW. She is so 'ground down' that she doesn't function well.

I'll save any suggestions and try to encourage SIL - but at the end of the day, she must make her own decisions. This is a NEW life for her.

Can you tell me what she needs to do so that I can copy and send to her?

My niece is phoning me back tonight so if you can direct me to some suggestions, I can print and send (SIL left the family home with one plate, one knife, and one fork, family photographs and some of her clothes)