Can I make a will NOT leaving dc or cash to dh?

[LalaDipsey]

My husband is an alcoholic and has anger issues. He is currently on a bit of an ultimatum from me - it is possible he will sort himself out but unlikely - in which case we will split.
If I was to die - either now whilst we are married, whilst a divorce is going through or after a divorce how can I prevent the dc and any life insurance i take out going to him? I would want my sister & BIL to have the dc and life insurance to help them with finances.
Even if dh sorts himself out is there any way there can be provision so that if my death causes him to drink again the dc can be taken away from him?
Thanks

Well you can get the life insurance put into trust for your dc. Not sure about guardianship issues...

I think you can leave money to whoever you like. But I think the children would end up with your husband.

Regarding the provision for future behaviour, who would manage it? Keep an eye on him etc.

Speak to a lawyer about your options. Tough decisions. I feel for you.

Agree guardian issues are tricky so wouldn't want to say there as usual

If you put cash etc into trust do get legal advice to ensure that trust meets conditions you want (eg that bil etc control it) and what tax consequences are as can have inheritance tax on bequests. This may not matter if the estate is beneath the exempt band (a couple of hundred thousand) but sometimes if you add in life insurance, house etc you can be above this limit.

the children are not possessions that you are free to leave in a will!

You are free to do pretty much what you wish with your assets, ie money, life insurance (you may need to check whether any existing nominations that you may wish to change) but you cannot leave the children to anyone else. You can express your wishes/appoint guardians but as their father, he is entitled to seek to have them reside with him.

The current estate value below which IHT does not apply is £325,000.

You need to write a will which leasves your estate to your children. Take some legal advice. The children will go to your husband although you can state your preferences. We have a letter of wishes which indicates the younger ones would be with the older ones who are adult and live with us although their father could ignore that if he chose as he's the parent just as if the sexes were reversed it would be right the other parent had that right. Obviously if someone might damage children (which is very rare) then your family could get social services to intervene at the time.

If you are supporting your husband and pletny of we women earn more than our men and support them in effect then not to leave them a penny can be challenged. There is a provision of family and dependents act or something like that which says you cannot write out entirely those whom you support in a wil.. This is England. Others countries differ even Scotland.

Don't necessarily put the life policy in trust for the children. H would likely control the investments for them. If the policy is paid to your estate, your will can say who the trustees of the chs inheritance are (ie not h).

Of course there are IHT considerations. You need to get a will done professionally. See your local solicitor or contact mumblechum. She posts here and gets good feedback.

So who would you leave them to if it were an option ? I guess what you could do is alert your mother/sister/best friend to the fact that hes an alcoholic and get them to alert social services should you die but then things might osculate and be out of their hands pretty quickly if they deem the mother/sister/best friend unsuitable. Is he a better option than foster care ? I would suggest he probably is.

Children are not belongings to be 'left' in a will.

It was badly phrased - of course I know my precious beautiful children aren't possessions, I just mean I would like people to be aware of his alcoholism as it impacts upon his ability to care for the dc, especially as he is also verbally abusive. The thought of me not being here to protect them and something happening to them, or even just the fact that he wouldn't hear one of them crying in the night if they were ill makes me feel sick

I know soeone whose wife when dying of cancer left all her money in trust for the education of the children - they were at private schools and she was more in favour of that than the father who still loved her and lived with her. The trustees are her mother and her sister and now she's dead they deal with payihg the school fees bills etc and the children live with their father. The mother's half of the house was left to the children too.

I certainly have our life policies in trust and pension as I am not married and if I died the children could be homeless because of the inheritance tax they would have to pay so the more we can leave out of inheritance tax at 40% the better. This now though, the ensuring your chidlren are not homeless after your death, is regarded as morally repugnant lawful tax avoidance by a Conservative Government... sigh.

Definitely another who says get legal advice. I have had an initial meeting with a Solicitor re. what would happen should both me and DH die as the nearest relation is not suitable. In that situation the Solicitor said that a will plus a letter for the Judge (should one become involved) explaining our reasons should be enough but I have no idea whether this would work for another parent.

WM, it would in terms of guardianship.It's just where the other parent is unsuitable that there is a problem as your letter of wishes could be ignored and then the family would have to involve social services to prove the unsuitability of the surviving parent. You also might want to protect your half of the assets from a second wife who is divorcing your husband in due course and which divorce might render your children homeless.