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Legal matters

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Original poster

Living in limbo...

8 replies

nolongeramug · 13/04/2012 00:32

I ended the relationship with my ex 2 months ago... We are not married and have no DC together. I foolishly thought he would move out to relatives, but he has refused, basically a control thing.
He eventually agreed to put the house on the market, so now we live in limbo...
We own the property jointly, so i am working on 50/50 split.
He has already started telling me that he wants more money than me, and that if I want a quick sale I must take the money from my share... He knows I just want out now and he is trying to make my life pretty shitty.
So what happens if we get an offer on the house and I want to take it and he does not?

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 13/04/2012 00:44

On the face of it, there's no reason why he should move out. Have you both contributed equal sums to the purchase of the house? Equal amounts of deposit, mortgage 50/50 every month? Are you joint tenants, or tenants in common?

Original poster

nolongeramug · 13/04/2012 01:04

We are joint tenants.. He did put in more than me, but we have contributed the same from the start. I have not gone into detail but he has been unreasonable and controlling, so i had hoped he would stay with family, but he can not let go, but that's another story.
Does it matter he put in more than me?

OP posts:

STIDW · 13/04/2012 01:18

Unfortunately although it isn't very pleasant living with someone when the relationship has broken down the financial climate is such that many separated couples have to live together for many months, even years, before property can be sold.

The starting point (and usually the finishing point!) when the deeds are held in joint names is the assumption each party owns 50% of the property, unless it's stated differently.

If there is no agreement either party can apply to the court for an order to sell the property. The costs are quite expensive so it's in both parties' interests to negotiate using a solicitor or with the help of a mediator if necessary.

STIDW · 13/04/2012 01:26

PS The point about joint tenants is that if you die your ex-partner will automatically inherit your share. If you are tenants in common your share will become part of your estate. You should see a solicitor for advice.

Original poster

nolongeramug · 13/04/2012 09:12

I was hoping the house would sell quickly, but you are right if I die I want my DS to get it not my ex... I just want to move on quickly and start over. I am glad it is 50/50 as that's what I'm working all my future purchasing on.

OP posts:

Collaborate · 13/04/2012 10:07

The more significant point about a joint tenancy is that you are joint and equal owners. The succession part is a mere consequence of that. In law, you each own the whole.

If you both decided to own the property as joint tenants, (and the conveyancing solicitors should have taken your clear instructions on this), it matters not that he paid more than you towards the deposit. I agree that you should see a solicitor.

3xcookedchips · 13/04/2012 11:45

Why do you have the expectation he should move out - its just as much his house as it is yours acording to you. Someone may have advised him to stay put for very practical reasons - yes its difficult living with someone you have broken up with but can be managed. You complain he is controlling. You need to the tools to manage that. Do you have a document signed by you both and witnessed to saying its joint tenancy. If he has contributed more at the initial start then I guess hes trying to recover that also - was a siginifcant sum. What split does he want? Wouldnt you be trying to do the same if it was reversed?

What aspects of his behaviour do consider controlling?

Original poster

nolongeramug · 13/04/2012 14:41

3x the night I told him it was over, he got drunk, was abusive and on verge of violent. Since then, he has bombarded me with texts and phone calls ever time I go out, he constantly rings the home phone when I'm not at work, and the office phone when I'm at work. He has tried to get into my phone, and successfully done something to the computer at home to watch what I'm doing.
When I go out, there is always a huge drama of where I'm going to point I dread going home, I end up telling him where I have been to calm him down as he gets hysterical and talks about hurting himself....
Thats why I feel like I'm living in limbo, as he won't let go, and I don't feel like I can move on until we sell and go our separate ways.
We both put in all we had to this house, and although he put in more we have enough equity that means we can both buy again.. I am thankful for that

OP posts:

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