advice re grandparents access

[givemeaclue]

Hi - have been advised to post here from relationships thread where I originally posted - re access for my mother to my dc. In a nutshell:

me and mother do not get on - long history - we had counselling but it made things worse. She is very good grandmother and loves my dcs - whilst me and my mother don't want to spend time together I am very supportive of their relationship with her. She lives at opposite end of UK to me. She sees the dcs regularly but the current arrangements are that I fly up (easyjet) to where she lives with them, then fly back same day leaving them there (this is on my day off from work - dcs are pre school). She has them for 2 nights then flies back with them and then flies home. I am happy for them to stay longer as it is a lot of hassle for a 2 night trip however she feels this is long enough. Her expectation is that:

-I pay for it (approx £250 per trip plus airport parking etc)
-I will do 50% of the travelling (so we both do 2 flights in a day - me to take them up and her to bring them back)
-I book the tickets (faff on easyjet as its not straight forward return journeys as one direction of travel for both of us is without kids)

She is prepared to pay one quarter of the costs over the course of a year i.e 1 trip out of 4. She feels I should pay the majority as I earn more (she is retired on a small pension). i suggested that she do the majority of the travel as she has more time on her hands being retired and 1 work 4 days a week - she hasn't responded to that.

she has just sent me a message reminding me that we had a trip planned for august - she wants me to pay for it, do the booking and 50% of the travelling (as above).
I have just done this in March. It is costing me over £800 per annum for her to see the kids.

am i setting any legal precendents here - if I withdrew travelling myself/paying for the trips - what recourse would she have?

Your suggestion sounds quite reasonable - that she has more time and should do the travelling, especially if you are to pay 75%. Have you not considered the cost of her staying in a travellodge local to you and seeing the children during the day? You do sound as if you're setting a precedent paying towards it though.

Bumping for the evening crowd ...

Hi givemeaclue - sorry that my suggestion of posting in Legal hasn't really borne fruit (save for Collaborate - thank you!). I've been out of the game for a while but it could be because those currently practising aren't necessarily familiar with this specific area of law. From what I know, it is not particularly highly developed since the most notable case law surrounding grandparents' applications seem to be around a residence issue.

My own personal view (and I'm happy to be corrected) is that although she may not necessarily have any recourse to force you to finance the trips, she may have grounds to apply for a contact order to require you to make the children available for contact 4 times per year based on what you've said has occured in previous years. Is she likely to seek legal advice? If she does, those representing her may well chance their arm at requiring you to both finance the trips and do 50% of the travelling (although I cannot see a Court putting the financial obligation on you myself).

If your intention is to withdraw yourself (and your money) from this arrangement then personally I would advise you that you are well within your rights to do so. You can still make the children available but all that means is that you will do what is reasonable to facilitate contact (i.e. drive them to the nearest TravelLodge/Premier Inn!). Whether you decide to continue to do the travelling or meet half the costs is up to you but the longer you continue to do it, the more likely it is that the Court might uphold the arrangement.

really appreciate your help cash n carry - thanks v much