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How do I pay for divorce?

2 replies

oldfatandtired1 · 04/04/2012 21:01

My H walked out on me on Valentines Day to be with his GF. He is an alcoholic, serial shagger who has abused me emotionally and financially over the past 10 years (we have been married 22 years) so the time has come to divorce and I shed no tears over him.

However, I saw a solicitor last week for a chat - assured 50/50 equity in the house (possibly more in my favour), pension share and probably spouse maintenance (he takes home approx 4x my salary). Kids are 21 (at home, working) and 18 (away at Uni but home in hols).

He has not been in touch with me all this time although he has been home to pick up some stuff (I wasn't in). All bills are coming out of the joint account still, as is day to day spending. I have evidence he has opened a secret bank account.

Anyway - how can I pay my solicitor? Take out a loan? Credit card? It won't be cheap, he has several pensions to be valued for a start. Do I carry on the status quo and wait for him to ask me when I shall be petitioning and then ask him how we're going to pay? I know each party pays their own but how is this possible when finances have been joint?

Sorry, a bit of a ramble - I had kind of assumed I would be able to pay at the end when house had been sold (4 beds so it will have to go, I guess - not too unhappy about that, a fresh start will be good). People divorce all the time with less money than we have - how do they do it? Mum says if she wins the lottery she'll gladly pay the lot but that's a bit unlikely . . .

OP posts:
NotaDisneyMum · 04/04/2012 21:09

You can do most of it yourself - and mediation is a lot cheaper if you can cope with it, as part of the deal they'll draw up an agreement that your solicitor can submit to the court. It used to be available through legal aid - not sure now though!

I completed and filed my own divorce papers, then I went and saw a solicitor for my 30 min free consult.
ExH and I had three sessions of mediation; i applied for my own pension valuation and got three valuations on the house as part if that and dealt with joint creditors directly - and then I saw my solicitor once more before she filed the final paperwork.

My legal fees for the divorce went on my credit card and I sorted them out after the settlement - exH paid some of them as part of the mediated deal.

Good luck!

sneezecakesmum · 08/04/2012 21:37

My BILs solicitor was prepared to put in place a financial agreement to pay most of the bill when the house was sold. He managed to pay most of the bill as he went along though so it was not necessary. Just ask the solicitor.

Agree with notadizzymum (I know!) mediation is much cheaper. Look on the 'Resolution' website, tons of info there.

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