Stepfather CSA rights after mothers death

[Ne55y]

Hi thanks for reading.
Ive recently been diagnosed terminal. I have 2 children to a previous relationship (unmarried) and 1 child to my husband, ages 6,4+1 respectively.
we live happily as a family and all 3 of my kids call my husband dad.
their biological father walked out when i was 6 months pregnant with the second child. he visited them both for about 4 months then due to his new relationship cut all contact with them. he pays the CSA for them (a pitiful amount anyway!) but has never requested to have any contact with them, no birthday cards, no asking how they are in passing or anything.
Im worried about my husbands rights when the inevitable happens. He loves all the children the same and thinks of them all as his own.
Ive been in limited contact with the biological father about the girls and at first he says he thinks the best course of action is to keep my husband and i's family together, then when the matter of money arose he change to he doesnt think it is fair to pay the CSA to my husband, not that it would make any difference whatsoever, and that my husband should adopt them, he would waive all his parental rights and in doing so get out of having to pay CSA. And has
My question is this... suggested he might change his mind later and want the girls.
what rights does my husband have? having raised my two children as his own since mid-2009, hes provided for them, we recently bought our own home, but obviously now my husband has had to leave work to care for us all due to my illness. i can clearly see financially difficult times ahead.
Please can anyone shed any light on this situation as any legal advice from solicitors is going to cost money we just dont have anymore.

Thank you all so much for reading and i hope to hear from you soon.

Vanessa

I'm really very sorry you're in this situation.

I recommend that you make a Parental Responsibility Agreement. The PSA will need to be signed by all three parties. You can download the form from the website Direct Gov or whatever it's called.

The procedure is that all three of you go to your local county court with the form filled in, and take your ID. One of the clerks there will witness your signatures and that's it.

You don't need to go through the adoption procedure.

Any more questions, post again; I'm going out soon but will check back in the morning.

i would definitely have your husband adopt them ASAP.

The reason being, if your ex sperm donor ever found himself skint, he is their only biological parent and this holds a lot of weight in a court of law3, and he could try to take them for the attached benefits.

Please get your husband to adopt them before the sperm donor thinks of this.

xxx I am sorry you are in such a horrible situation.

Here you go:

www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_181743.pdf

I wouldn't bother about the CSA aspect if he's not paying properly.

If your ex made an application for a change of residence, I think he would really struggle because the courts don't like to change the status quo unless absolutely necessary, and it would clearly not be in the children's interests to go to him after a bereavement and be separated from their step dad and half brother/sister.

Colditz, no disrespect and all that, but that is really bad advice. The OP has posted in Legal.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Unfortunately I have no experience or advice but couldnt read & not post. I wish you all the very best.

I agree, as ever, with mumblechum and babybarrister.

What an awful situation, I am sorry you are having to deal with this Vanessa.

Regarding the CSA, isn't any parent with parental responsibility allowed to claim child maintenance, Mumble? So if they apply for parental responsibility for the stepfather, surely he could then make a claim for support. I agree with Mumble though, I'd get this form through and then you dh can always look into maintenance at a later date.

Vanessa, I am sorry you are going through this.

I left my parental rights in my will to a named person, along with custody of the children. I would think as the children lived with your dh so long and have a sibling bond with the 1yo, they would stay a unit.

You need to get this all confirmed with a solicitor.

Chopstheduck: you don't need PR to apply to the CSA. Any adult who has care of a child (defined as the person to whom child benefit is being paid) can apply for CSA maintenance from either or both natural parents.

SophieNeveau: A guardianship clause in a will only takes effect on the death of the last person to have parental responsibility.

If he adopts them it is clear cut. It will also show your children what they mean to him. If the only reason NOT to adopt them is a paltry amount of CSA it seems a no brainer to me. There would be no court case or possible legal wrangle.

How, RedHelen, do you think there would be no court case for an adoption to take place? Adoption orders (which are made by the court), are not handed out like sweeties.

She did say the biological father would want step dad to adopt them therefore no wrangling. Of course it would got to court & both options would involve social services but the former way would be calm & not in the aftermath of their mother dying.

It is also no way certain that if the biological dad wanted the children to live with him that that would not be granted, particularly as their sibling is still young.

Yes, but clearly the OP had no idea how much of a palaver step parent adoptions are. If she went down that route it would take one year minimum, possibly two, Social Services involvement, getting her ex to agree (and why should he agree to never seeing his kids again and having no legal relatiotionship with them ever? Chances are he'd refuse and she would have got nowhere, all the time whilst she has a terminal illness.

The reason I advised a PRA is that it takes about 10 mins to complete, 10 minutes to have signed and witnessed, 10 mins to register and costs nothing, and doesn't take the father's legal rights away, whilst giving rights to the step dad. It's sensible advice (as backed up by the other qualified lawyers on this thread), whereas a step parent adoption would be bad advice.

Yes I couldn't agree more, not legal but can't see why mum would want to spend the precious time she has left going through such a stressful process as SP adoption. PRA sounds like a much more sensible option
My thoughts are with you OP

But I thought the position originally given was that the dad would forfieit rights if he no longer had to pay for his children so would he sign the PRA as he still would be responsible for maintenance? Obviously if he agreed it then that would be great.

Even if father would forfeit rights on adoption, and he agrees with it, doesn't mean it's a straight forward process, or that it's guaranteed to be successful I agree with those who advocate PR.

Aren't you all missing the point a little bit though? The op said that the biological father is the one asking for adoption because he no longer wants to be obligated to pay maintenance.
The op feels that her husband will need assistance to help with the family finances as he has had to give up work.
A shared pr won't solve that issue, I do think it's needed so that there are no issues later on but it won't resolve the maintenance issue and the biological father might even refuse to sign anything that in effect ties him to the children.

Im so sorry you're in this situation op, have you spoken to the CSA direct to find out what options you have in this situation?

Thing is, Miniwedge, consent of the father isn't the only thing SS and the court have to consider. Adoption is a huge step to take in that (usually), it completely cuts off the child from one half of their heritage. Therefore even if the dad agrees, SS may not approve the application.

The bio father already has PR which ties him to the children. OP says he pays a pitiful amount of CSA at the moment.

CSA is frankly the least of her worries. In order that the stepdad can do stuff like consent to medical treatment, decide on the children's schools and other major decisions, he needs PR.