How to deal with Uncle-in-law stealing from his mother (Court of Protection)

[PixiePainter]

Name changed to protect privacy of others. Long

MIL and her brother are joint deputies appointed by Court of Protection to look after the financial interests of their mother (who suffers from dementia), and is living in a residential home.

The mother's home is still on the market (thankfully), but the furniture, cash from the house etc has been acquired by the Uncle. MIL recently asked Uncle Knob to get his son to make a nominal payment to the estate(?) for a piece of furniture Uncle Knob took from the house and gave to him. Uncle Knob refused. I'd imagine that the savings and current account of the mother would also show some funds unaccounted for. There is a will which specifies who should get these things on the mother's death, but I'm assuming it becomes void under these circumstances?

Uncle Knob has also tried to stop the hairdresser from visiting his mother in the home because 'it's too expensive'. It's a pittance, really improves her quality of life and she has more than enough money to pay for it.

What to do? At the moment the council is paying for her care, but once the house is sold I know they could well seek payment. A man who will steal furniture isn't going to be shy about £££££.

Uncle Knob has refused to speak to FIL, has stated he no longer wants to talk to MIL, and has shown no signs of stopping his abuse. He is actually accusing MIL of having stolen money that went on fixing the mother's home before she went into the house, because he has lost the paperwork. He feels it's basically none of MIL's business to question him or his decisions, but they were appointed joint deputies.

MIL feels conflicted. She's worried about her liability, worried about her mother's care, worried about what will happen when the house sells etc. She's very aware that the last thing her mother would want is her children at war.

Please help. It has been suggested that an easy way out might be to tell the court that Uncle Knob is refusing to talk to her about her mother's affairs, but I'm worried that this could lead to her being removed as a Deputy, which would allow Uncle Knob to stop his mother getting her hair done etc. I'm very aware that the sale of the house or (terrible) the mother's death would complicate the situation immensely and lead to a horrible showdown.

Thanks for reading. Please help! Does anyone have experience of dealing with this or advice from a legal point of view?

I am not a lawyer, nor do I have experience of the particular situation you describe, but my son has a trust fund and I know that you can go to court to have someone removed as a trustee if they are not acting in the best interests of the person whose trust it is. (in your case that would fall under dishonest conduct maybe, if it was a trust. I don't know about CoP)

I think your MIL should see a solicitor with a view to laying this before a court and getting their ruling on it.

She needs to do it now. There is no time to think about it, to weigh it up, to dither. She needs to act now.

She needs to care only about her mother's wellbeing and if the price for that is that her brother spits out his dummy or never speaks to her again, or hates her - so be it. That's a heavy price I know, but she will know she protected her mother when she was at her most vulnerable.

oh - you said about her being worried that she could be removed - why? if it is the uncle who is taking things, if it is the uncle who is trying to stop money being spent on his mother - why would that translate to your MIL being removed?

She could even ask for both of them to be removed and a professional put in place instead! She needs to convey to the court that her only aim is to protect her mother and ensure that her money is spent on her care!"

OOh thank you Hecate. Having them both removed sounds like something she might go for.

Tell social care, it's a safeguarding issue. Court of protection can also discharge someone from deputyship if they're not acting in the best interest of the person.

Agree with Hecate about approaching COP regarding best interests. Appointee can (and will be) removed if they don't act in best interests and denying her personal allowance spending money and 'depriving' her of assets by disposing off would count. If I were your mil I would ask social worker if they can help too as may be able to advise.

Agree with Hecate about approaching COP regarding best interests. Appointee can (and will be) removed if they don't act in best interests and denying her personal allowance spending money and 'depriving' her of assets by disposing off would count. If I were your mil I would ask social worker if they can help too as may be able to advise.

Your ds dept should have a POVA team (protection of vulnerable adults). Call them for help. The council I work for has a team where they take over the Court of Protection stuff.

Thanks for all the advice. Poor MIL is stressed out of her mind with all this and totally conflicted about what to do.

It doesn't help that FIL is really worried about her but sees this as a black and white issue and keeps telling her what to do. All the time.

Then she would probably find it a huge relief to have matters taken out of her and her brother's hands so she can just concentrate on being there for her mum.

She needs to prevent her brother from being able to financially abuse their mother.

Agree. I think she may well go for that.

You can ask for a meeting with a court visitor - I think that's what they are called. They tend to appear a couple of years after the deputyship has been running to check with deputies over any issues and while they don't give legal advice they can point you in the right direction.
The Office of the Public Guardian can be helpful, can be very overstretched - real cinderella service.
Age UK are also useful and would have up-to-date figures re how much is disallowed from nursing home fees payment for personal care i.e. toiletries, hairdressing, etc as that is the bare minimum that a person in a nursing home needs for extras.
And does the deputyship allow for your MiL and her brother to act jointly and severally i.e. do they have to agree everything together or can they each act independently?
The person should have a bank account set up by the deputies so perhaps MiL can set up direct debit to nursing home to pay for extras - most of them do this so it wouldn't be a question of each 'treat' having to be paid for.