I've been with DP since Nov 2010. He has a 3yo with his exP. He used to see his DD regularly and he tried to stay on good terms with his ex. In March 2011 he told her that he was in a new relationship and then everything changed.
She began to make contact more difficult, then stopped it altogether. She used paperwork he had left at her house and post still arriving there to spy on his finances and obtain contact details of people he knows and contacted them to spread lies. She has emailed me a load of lies about his past, phoned me and text me but I have never read her emails or responded to her in any way. She used the chequebook left at her house to write herself a cheque for over £40k. She emptied their joint account and overdrew it by over £1000. She regularly sends him abusive text messages and emails and verbally abuses him when he picks up or drops his DD home, while he says nothing to her. She submitted a load of lies to the court when he had to go to court for contact. Fortunately they saw through her. She has emailed DP's boss and told him a load of lies too.
Recently she has somehow managed to obtain contact details for my exH and has emailed him expressing concerns for the safety of my children around DP. My exH has spoken to her on the phone and was taken in by her. He asked my parents for their opinion and they were well aware of all the carry on and told my exH to have nothing to do with her. I emailed exH and told him the same.
DP's ex already has a police caution for harassment of her own exH and his new partner. We are still within the 5 year period that covers. We have tried to avoid legal action but this situation is escalating and having an impact on both DP and myself. It was humiliating having to justify ourselves to my exH and prove that DP has a clear CRB. In fact my DC absolutely adore him and he has a lovely relationship with them, and his own DD.
Given that she already has a caution for the same offence against someone else, what might happen if we go to the police? We have a thorough evidence trail thanks to all the phone records and emails. I have not met his exP and don't want to, but if we both make a complaint of harassment would I have to appear in court too?
Thanks for any advice.