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Legal matters

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Original poster

partner is throwing me and kids out of our home.

19 replies

hehitme · 03/03/2012 08:54

If anyone can help, that would be fantastic.

I have been with my boyfriend for ten years. we have two children together.

We bought this house 9 years ago - it is only in his name (long story).

Last year, during an argument my partner punched me and landed me in hospital. He had never been violent before. I reported him to the police and he got a warning/caution or something as no prior record. (luckily the kids were not here at the time and stayed with relatives until my bruises went. They were told I was sick)

I asked him to leave and he went to stay with relatives. I have been devastated and signed off work, put on antidepressants, having counselling etc.

He since moved himself back in and out when he feels like it. He came back again a couple of months ago and we have all been living under the same roof. This has been very awkward and horrible. However I do not have money to move at the moment.

He grabbed me and spat in my face last week. He told me in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of his house, with the kids and he does not care if i have no money.

I know i could stay with relatives but they all live several hours away and my children are settled in school.

I dont want to go into emergency housing. (if i have too, I will)

Just checking if there is any way i can have a right to remain in the house with the children for a while? I can prove I have been paying for the majority of household bills etc and for major work on the house.

What would happen if i changed the locks?

I didn't report him for spitting at me but I will if he does anything violent again, which Im afraid will be sooner rather than later. Would he definitely be charged next time or could he be let off again? It was awful last time, I was at the station for hours making the statement and even though he admitted everything he only got a warning.

I am terrified he is going to lose his temper in front of the children and this is not a situation I want them to be in.

Thanks

OP posts:
HJwantstosleep · 03/03/2012 11:22

Phone Woman's aid. You need to be away from him ASAP. For you AND the children.

mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 11:22

You should make an application for an injunction and occupation order. Your likelihood of getting them, however, has been compromised by the delay in seeking help.

An occupation order is a temporary order for your ex to leave the house for six months or so in order to give you a chance to get somewhere else to live. It is a draconian step and that's why I think you will struggle, but at the least, you should get a solicitor to write and threaten that, and from there you should be able to negotiate a move on your own terms.

You will get child mtce, but because you aren't married, you aren't entitled to much else.

The other option would be to apply for a Schedule 1 application under the children act but again I wouldn't hold my breath.

Get a solicitor's appointment sorted out as a priority is my best advice, and good luck.

Justw0nder1ng · 03/03/2012 13:41

Will she really not be able to make a claim on the house? I thought your rights were similar to if you were married in ops situation.

LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 13:48

Don't change the locks!

EdithWeston · 03/03/2012 13:57

No, the rights are not similar to being married.

mumblechum1 · 03/03/2012 15:10

She won't get an equitable share of the property, but under the injunction legislatiion, an order can be made for a temporary injunction irrespective of whose name the house is in.

Original poster
hehitme · 03/03/2012 16:53

He has been awful today and threatened to kill me so going to my sisters and then reporting him. Thanks for help anyway.

OP posts:
Shinyshoes1 · 03/03/2012 16:56

if you go to your sisters will you be able to get back into the house again? Can't you get him out instead if he's threatened you

Amateurish · 03/03/2012 17:55

You're not married so you no automatic right to occupation of the house. Have you been paying the mortgage? You need to seek legal advice urgently.

Unless you can show some legal interest in the property, your partner can evict you from the house without a court order.

Collaborate · 03/03/2012 23:41

If you apply for an injunction now you might be able to get him out of the house and an order permitting you to stay for 3-6 months. If you, in the meantime, apply for an order under Schedule 1 of the Children Act you might be allowed to remain at the property until the children end secondary education. but do it now if you're going to. Don't delay.

olgaga · 04/03/2012 00:15

I think you really must report him to the police and then see a solicitor asap to apply for an injunction as Collaborate has advised.

There's no point wasting time, I think you are doing the right thing in leaving and going to your sister's. Your first priority has to be your safety and that of your children, and the only way you can be sure of that is to get away from him.

Also try Womens Aid for advice: www.womensaid.org.uk/

Original poster
hehitme · 04/03/2012 00:26

thank you for all the replies.

Approx how much will an injunction cost me? Not so bothered about house now, just want him to stay away from me.

If I see a solicitor first thing Mon, how long will it take? Is it a family law solicitor i need to find?

I do work (just off ill) so doubt ill get legal aid.

Is it possible he will just be cautioned again? All that did was wind him (and his family) up even more. I thought he would go to court after admitting it, which would give him a shock. Unfortunately, it never got that far.

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 04/03/2012 08:51

Hi, yes, you need a family solicitor. Have a look at www.resolution.org.uk tofind a local family specialist.

Costs wise, I normally charge between £1k and £2k plus VAT depending on whether the matter is settled on undertakings (ie by agreement), or defended.

If you have a local Womens Aid, though, they may be able to deal with it for free. They usually aren't lawyers but have experience and do a good job.

The effect of the injunction is that once he's served with it, he must obey it, and any breach will/should result in his imprisonment for contempt of court.

cestlavielife · 04/03/2012 23:29

You definitely need to report latest threats and focus on keeping him away from you.

If your name is not on the house then tricky .

Gigondas · 06/03/2012 17:51

Mumblechum (or any other specialist) there is a post on judge changing divorce settlement in money matters that you may be able to help on.

mumblechum1 · 06/03/2012 19:07

I've posted on the thread in money matters.

laraportugal · 31/01/2023 08:17

I was wondering how are you?

Collaborate · 31/01/2023 09:14

laraportugal · 31/01/2023 08:17

I was wondering how are you?

She's 11 years older FFS.

Brahumbug · 31/01/2023 14:44

Zombie!

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