Ex partner in joint mortgage, solicitors questions

[ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets]

Hi, this could turn long, please bear with me.

My Ex-P bought a house together in September 2006 after being together for over 6 years. We split in Nov 2007 but continued to live together until Jun 2009. The last 12 months of this we did not speak at all. We had a massive row about my new partner and he went mental. It was extremely stressul and brought on a number of illnesses including IBS and shortness of breath.

We have continued to pay 50/50 on the mortgage and life cover but I pay everything else including all insurances etc and have dealt with all breakages, upgrades, maintainence etc which seems only fair as I am living here and he is not.

My DP is now living here with me and we have a DS and I am currently on maternity leave due to return in September.

I received a text from ex 2 days after DS was born (great timing!) asking about a letter he said he sent about the house. I replied that I didn't know what post there was as I was in hospital and would be for the forseeable (another story).

I saw a solicitor as he had been talking about an occupation order and that he wanted to move back into the house as was his right. This sent me into a major panic, with slight return of the illnesses, hence seeing a solicitor. She said I was able to refuse him access to the property if I felt I wanted to, and he would have to get a court to grant an occupation order, but it would never be granted due to my DP and DS now linving here, and the toll it would take on my health.

I haven't heard from him since that last text. Until this morning. He said 'The solicitor has a few questions about the house. How much is remaing on the mortgage? how many people are living here and how long I have been co-habiting for?'.

He seems to think I have had lodgers. I did advertise a room to rent after he left, a girl moved in but left after 2 weeks. Then a friend had nowhere to go so she stayed for a while, and DPs brother worked here for a few weeks so he stayed too. Neither one of the last 2 paid any rent, so no issue there. DP does not pay me rent either, he puts money into an accoutn that I use for food and baby things.

I am shaking writing this, I feel sick.

Can I tell him to tell his solicitor to send me a letter for reponses? I don't want to offer up information to make his life easier, also, I have some doubts as to whether he even has a solicitor.

Can he force me to sell? Is there anything I need to do to arm myself with info?

Please help. I'm crying now.What a mess.

Just tell him his solicitor will need to write formally to yours!

He can force you to sell. I don't understand why he's paying half the mortgage when you're living there with your new partner and the child you've had with him. I presume you have no children with your ex.

See if you can remortgage to buy him out. If you can't, I'm afraid you're simply going to have to sell.

He insisted on paying half when he left. He wanted to pay half the bills aswell but I switched everything to my name and my bank. It's through greed. He wouldn't be able to bear me getting more than him when we do come to sell. Before we moved in I was all excited about us living together, he was talking about 'the investment'. It took the shine off things a bit.
With regards to solicitors, I had a free consultation when I got my advice. Do I now have to start paying them of I want them to deal with things? I can't afford this. Can his solicitor just write to me?
We're in negative equity, so no remortgage options. I can't afford to sell at a loss, he can as he's a lot older than me and lives with his mother.
We don't have any children together, thank God.

if you in negative equity then selling makes no sense anyway as neither of you will have anything left only debts!!

how much negative equity? thousands or tens of thousands?

Hi there Icantuckmyboobsinmypockets - great name :-)

It sounds as though if you sell the property there will be a mortgage shortfall? if so what do you think he has to gain from all this as you will both be left with a mortgage shortfall debt to pay?

Sounds like he is just trying to make your life difficult? i would tell him to get his solicitor to write to you! If he is on the mortgage isnt he getting mortgage statement annually? a property valuation is easier enough to obtain from the internet as well... all info he can get himself if he wanted it badly enough!!

The property should still be dealt with. If you are occupying the property to his exclusion you should be paying the mortgage on your own. google occupation rent and hit the first result on familylawweek and you'll see what I mean.

Why on earth would he want to pay half the mortgae for ever and a day in the hope that one day it can be sold without loss? To him, the loss is getting bigger every month. Also, he can't move on while he's still liable under the mortgage.

You both need to do a deal with the lender that sees the shortfall on sale turned into an unsecured debt.

Thanks for your messages.

Collaborate I've read that webpage, and I understand most of it I think. He hasn't been exluded from the property though, he left when he made a voluntary transfer with his employer to another country as he was in a relationship over there. He's back now. Does this still apply, given that I never forced or asked him to leave?

Keli5325, yes, he is trying to make my life difficult. He did this through the entire 'relationship' and it was a massive relief when I finally ended it. The statement comes here. Our lender are incredibly difficult and won't send a second copy to another address.

If he doesn't pay his half of the mortgage, it doesn't get paid which means he'll have bad credit against his name, somehting he'd never do.

cestlavielife we're in NE by about £15000.

Since it is in negative equity can you release him from the mortgage & he transfer the house to you? He really shouldn't be paying half the mortgage costs when he isn't living there!

Your new partner and your son are living there, so yes you are excluding him.

It is a bit cheeky to expect him to pay for your new partner to live rent free when the house is in negative equity & I certainly would not do it!

Well it sounds as though he has insisted on paying his half to protect his 50% equity. However, all he is actually doing now is protecting his half of £15,000 negative equity!

Why don't you get a couple of estate agents round to value the place. Send him the valuations. If you're in negative equity anyway, I don't see the point of selling at the moment.

But I'm damn sure I wouldn't want to carry on paying for a mortgage which is housing my ex's new partner and their DC!

These questions: How much is remaing on the mortgage? how many people are living here and how long I have been co-habiting for? are pretty straightforward! Why not just answer them?

You won't be able to carry on with these arrangements forever.

What does your new partner want to do about housing you all?

As he is on the mortgage, they are both jointly and severally liable for the debt regardless who is living there. Maybe this is why he continues to pay!

The only options seem to be sell to property and pay the shortfall over time or

Stay and come to some arrangement with regards to paying the mortgage but this will not change the fact that he will still be on the mortgage and on the title deeds as you are unlikely to remortgage given that the equity is negative

you are unlikely to remortgage given that the equity is negative

Yes, that's the real problem. I'd say you have no option other than to sell. It'll take a while anyway, so you have time to sort out housing options.

Yes, his solicitor can just write to you. Write to the solicitor and tell him/her that you will be dealing with the matter.

Dealing with something like this when you're the one affected can be very stressful. It's hard to seperate facts from emotions and it's easy to end up doing something foolish because you're angry or upset. If you can't afford to use a solicitor do you have a friend who is calm and level headed who can help you? I've done it for friends - reading letters, gathering information and helping them word responses in the best way.