Contact between divorced parents and their children

[gingerbiskit]

Does anyone know the age at which a child/teenager can decide whether or not/how often they wish to visit their non-resident parent? Is there a specific age, or is it purely down to circumstances? It's really difficult to find this out, as everyone I ask seems to have a different answer.

Thanks,

it's down to the individual child, how much they understand etc. i would say that you would probably be looking at 11-13ish

Children's views are considered in light of their age and maturity. 16 year olds are usually deemed mature enough to make their own decision and contact/residence orders usually end then except perhaps when a child has a learning difficulty and is immature for their age.

Younger teenagers views carry considerable weight but it's still adults who make decisions. For example, loving parents would ask children for their opinion about moving house, changing school or visiting extended family but it would be a very foolish parent indeed who allowed the child to make the decision. A young teenager might express a preference to live with a permissive parent because they can drink and go out all night when clearly living with that parent isn't in the best interests of the child.

The perceptions of even very young pre school children can be ascertained through play and art work and taken into account. At this age though they aren't mature enough to understand the implications of a decision.

It's important for adults to understand the rationale behind children's views and see it in light of the family dynamics and all the other circumstances when making a decision.

Sorry, that's a rather long winded way of saying there is no specific age.

Thank you for your replies.

Not a 'legal' answer but in case it helps - I let DD decide to stop contact with her father when she was 17. She also decided to stop going for overnight contact when she was 13/14 which I also supported, but would not have let her stop contact at that age.

Can I ask why she didn't want contact with her father Balia? My son is terrified of his father and contact makes him ill. Obviously I would never stop good quality contact but contact is ruining my sons childhood. I did pretty much force contact for a long time but there comes a point where you can't bear to see them suffer anymore. My son is 10

She stopped contact after he assaulted her, Santa. She stopped overnight contact because her step-brother came into her room one night and pulled all the covers off her. Don't think it was a sexual thing, more resentment that she was there, but no action was taken in the morning and she didn't feel safe. She still communicates with her step-brother, though.

Your poor Dd it sounds as though you can say you did everything to maintain contact. I hope your daughter is ok now and not suffering x
I hope my ex comes to his senses soon and makes contact more positive so that my son isn't so terrified but another part of me wonders if he's already done too much damage and he doesn't seem willing to change his behaviour which isn't helpful. Section 7 report due in soon so we'll see