Divorce - is there any advantage in divorcing him for adultery?

[LiarsWife]

When I discovered my husband was having an affair I told him that he would have to divorce me if he wanted to get divorced - that I wasn't paying to divorce him

However I'm wondering if that is not the right thing to do - would it be of any benefit to me to divorce him and name the OW on the petition?

I'm not an expert, but way back in the mists of law school we were told it basically makes no difference to the financial division. Is that what you mean? It was quite a long time ago now though, so may have changed...

I think if you divorce him for adultery he might have to pay. I divorced my husband for unreasonable behaviour and he had to pay which I hadn't realised until I saw the solicitors letter!

There might be a slight advantage in being the petitioner and having a little control over the timetable but there is no particular advantage in citing adultery. Naming the other women is likely to just cost time and money that would be better spent on negotiating arrangements for separating the finances and any children. In the grand scale of things the costs of the actual divorce aren't that great and agreement about costs can be negotiated.

Sadly for whatever reason the marriage is over and there is no point in dragging out a divorce or inflaming the situation which will just damage the wallet and long term family relationships more than necessary. Conduct very rarely has any effect on the finances unless it is exceptional eg DV leaving someone permanently injured and unable to continue with their career.

You really shouldn't name the OW. The divorce might stall if she doesn't cooperate, and it might make things more expensive. There is no need to name her, and the court encourages you not to.

Otherwise, orders for costs usually are made against adulterous spouses, and it makes no difference to the financial settlement. If you need to apply to the court for a financial order but have no divorce proceedings there is little you can do.

Agree with STIDW that it is sometimes better to be in the driving school as it were.
Also agree with Collaborate NOT to name the OW, no matter how tempting that may be. It can drag things out and increase costs, not to mention animosity.

I named the OW and it didn't slow anything down as she was happy to sign so she could get on with her relationship with Exh. I don't remeber it affecting costs. We both paid our own. I was never advised I could ask for costs. As for advantage or disadvantage its neither from my experiance. I named OW as I just wanted it made clear on any legal document the reason for the divorce.

Lovedlots that is just one experience. I've done hundreds of divorces, and in the main, it slows things down and increases the costs.

lovedlots sounds like you were badly advised. It is never advisable to name the co-respondent and it is always advisable to seek costs.
The fact that it is an adultery petition surely makes it clear the reason for the divorce.

As far as legal documents are concerned no one ever sees them. The absolute decree which goes on public record doesn't state the reason the marriage broke down and all the other documents are archived and then destroyed.

I am/was in this exact position. My lawyer really recommended not sueing on grounds of adultery. I so wanted to and to name the OW (bitch - she knew what she was doing sleeping with a married man with a 5 yr old). I was OK about this until he has now issued me with a divorce petition on grounds of MY unreasonable behaviour. Anything to avoid the adultery being mentioned as he has lied to all and sundry about it. The advice I received on here in really good faith was not to worry about it, it didn't affect agreements or court etc, would flame emotion etc. However I just know that my ex will show those papers to our DS when he is old enough. So it is important to me and my sanity that the adultery goes in there somehow. You do have to live with yourself and your own situation. I am drafting my response this weekend so wish me luck!

I was advised not to name OW but I did cos that was the reason for divorce. No denial, she was desperate to become the next Mrs x!!!